lillian m. blakey moon_window




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Sunlight on Earth

� Copyright 2006-2012
Sunday, Nov. 11, 2018 - 6:36 am

=*=


I really feel like disappearing...but I have nowhere to go.

TwI years ago, when my bf bought this house, he began doing what he did at his gmas house...beating everything when he got mad.

One day when he did it to the point where his fist broke a door, over something really super minor, I ran outside...in mid-winter, with no coat or shoes...I just needed to get away from him. He ran after me, begged me to come inside...none of me wanted to. I tild him i was done. I felt betrayed. I eventually went back inside...I was shivering.

At that point he started infantilzing me...he had never referee to me as "babe", "baby" "bebe", etc prior to that...

After two years of asking him why he's doing this, my being in grad school has only made it worse...he does it with every fucking sentence now. You want some *** fir dinner, bebe? You want to go to the store babe? Every. Fucking. Sentence and question. And with a weird baby voice, like you speak to cat with.

It's now started being done in front of my mom, in front of doctors, it's creepy...and when I voiced, for the 5th time this year, at least, that I don't like it, he's now not speaking to me ..or acknowledging me...and acting like I hate him...

I'm stuck though, because I literally have no one...so I just want to disappear.

~e

=*= one day i'll fly away =*=

most recent entries:

Erase me - Sunday, Nov. 11, 2018

too much - Monday, Oct. 29, 2018

The Game of Life - Monday, Oct. 29, 2018

Finalities - Sunday, Oct. 21, 2018

the ways of things - Friday, Oct. 12, 2018