I apologize in advance for the choppiness and lack of flow in this entry. I'm so tired, that the fact that I wrote this at all, is a near miracle.

So, the new moon on the 25th crossed my astrological Leo ascendant exactly. I'm not sure what it means. The last time any known new moon crossed anything major in my astrological chart, (new moon on north node, August 15th 2004) Josh found my diary, then e-mailed me, out of the blue, and somehow didn't end up in my junkmail box. We've known eachother for almost two years now. But I have no idea what a new moon on the ascendant means, other than "major change" in some, most likely personality related, way. Hey, if you can choose to not believe, or believe, why not believe? I will say that I spent the entire few hours it was exactly crossing my ascendant, in tears, crying at Josh who was consoling me.

I took the online Course Placement Eval for my college on Thursday. I passed the Reading test with 87% accuracy, or 39 out of 45 right. The essay topics with which to choose from are dreadful. Problems at work, problems with money, and social problems. Whoever thought up those topics was obviously having a low serotonin problem.

I apparently am unworthy of obtaining the results of my CPE, and it's corresponding class placement. I'll now have to wait to see an advisor for this as well. All this waiting is driving me nuts. Instead of pulling at my hair, I'm scratching my scalp till it bleeds. I didn't notice I was doing this till a few days ago. But on a positive note, while I have scabs, and painful wounds all over my scalp, my hair is growing back in�yay?

I've filled out all the necessary Financial Aid paperwork that I could download off the site, and have only three pages to fill out at the college next week. It's official that everything I'm doing right now is entirely under the assumption that I passed the GED math test, and that my essay wasn't flunked. I have to say though that after I did the CPE math test and got approximately 61% of college level math (it goes up to Math 121) that I felt better (less anxious) about the potential results of my GED test.

I say approximately, because while it does say what percentage you passed with in the online CPE, at least five math problems, maybe more, were cut off. The problems went like this " 8 + 6 - 4(-5+8) +" plus what???? Some had a left parentheses with nothing after it. After calling the chief examiner, and after she told me she had the sheet in front of her but still wouldn't tell me the missing digits of the 5 I know were cut off, without my going to her office in-person to get them, I decided to just skip them. I'm not taking math for a while anyway, so other than slight curiosity it makes no difference. I felt better knowing that even Albert Einstein couldn't have figured out those problems. But being that two were order of operations, and one was an easy polynomial that I know was 15xy to some cut off power, I know I would have gotten 61% or 27 of 44 right, if not more. Without those problems, I got 56% or 24 of 44 right (or 24 of 29 that I could answer). And no, the chief examiner wasn't concerned that the online test is flawed. This is the same woman who will be signing and sending my transcripts. Oy.

I haven't slept much at all for over 8 days now. Josh called me again lastnight, and while talking, he suggested I try something, and well, it didn't work. I've gotten maybe 3 to 5 hours of sleep a night, if even that. The causes? Neighbors, my cat's insomnia, storms, did I mention neighbors?, stress of impending deadlines, worry over the GED test, and trying to not forget any financial aid related details. And neighbors.

One form of escape has been in the form of collecting images I like. I'm now officially in-serious-like of david and Goliath stuff, and well as Sweetypuss stuff. "Let's play on my mood swings," a few Eve L shirts and an "Amish do it better" t-shirt I *have* to get. ;-)

But, to say something really positive: since I last updated, I've discovered that I'll be getting a substantial Pell grant. The only weird thing is that they disburse the first half in mid-September and second half in mid-October, when classes start and must be paid for by mid-August. So, I'm wondering how a person pays for the classes and school supplies and also pays for living expenses, cause after I do I'll be literally broke. I'll have nothing to my name for shoes, or clothes, or anything else I still need, till mid-September. My next SSI check is going to tuition, $300+ for classes and at least 100+ for books, then there's the extra transportation expenses, and the money in my account now will barely cover rent and bills next month. After that, I have no idea.

But, the SF Museum of Fine Arts, is showing off Frida Kahlo and Diego Rivera paintings through September�I think admission is free to SF residents on Fridays and Sundays, hmm have to double check. And don't think I'm not going to harass a certain self-called "pp head," who hasn't asked to go anywhere with me for 37 days, to take me. Yeah W really called himself that the other night�0:-P After 37 days I'm starting to want to call him names myself.

Anywho�this week I watched the movies Hellraiser, The Notebook, and Mars Attacks!.

I'd forgotten how pointless Mars Attacks! is. Hellraiser is as good as I remember it being, despite outdated special effects, though more bloody than I remembered it. And finally The Notebook, of course, made me completely tear up. Even with the few overly dramatic badly acted scenes. Oddly enough, it made me think of both W and Josh. Don't ask.

Alright, other than the fact that I made a really good dinner and barely ate any of it, I guess that's all I have to say for now.

Oh, that and I really need to get out more.

'night

~e