I received my GED transcript in the mail yesterday. The chief examiner sent it on the 3rd, and I got it on the 4th. Why can't the mail always be that quick? I scored way better than I thought I would. My average score is 592, which says that I'm in the top 15% of high school graduates. Ha! I keep thinking about how I only went to the 5th grade, and how just about everything I know I taught myself, out of plain ol' curiosity. And about how pathetic that is, although when it comes to self-teaching I know I'm not the average person.

So my scores are as follows: (the percent is not a grade, it's what I scored in comparison to graduating high school seniors, ie "equal or higher than 92% of high school graduates")

Reading 640 92%
Writing 630 90%
Mathematics 530 62%
Science 560 73%
Social Studies 600 84%

Total average 592 80% (I scored on average better than 80% of high school seniors who graduated).

Yesterday I couldn't stop laughing. I went giddy looking at it.

I guess I did deserve my 4.0 GPA last semester, after all.

Now I can buy all of those dorky 'Class of 2006' keyrings, and magnets, and picture frames, and pens�I also am finally doing something normal for once, I graduated and now I'm going to college part-time. In the right order.

I'm so happy it's over. I only wish I could get my essay back, I really liked the tone of it. And it was only the second real essay I've ever written in my entire life, so in a way, it was special. Plus, it was inspired by my adventures of crawlin' my ass up the side of a mountain with W.

Anyway, my transcript is now posted on the wall above my desk, right next to my 4.0 GPA printout, and the Fall 2006 semester calendar. I've stared at it a lot, it still seems unreal somehow.

The other night was really rough for me. I guess the anxiety of college, and W, and forms, and needing to be perfect as far as getting everything done decided to hit me. Josh ended up calling me, and I ended up being a sob fest. I don't know if I want to go into total details in a public entry, so maybe I'll type it up later for my private diary. But Josh has supported me so much through this. I'm tired of him being so far away. Josh told me that he's really proud of me, how hard I've worked for this. I think he knows more than anyone (except maybe my mom) how hard I worked for this. essentially, it took me 14 years to get back to school, so it was a 14 year road I just leapt from.

My mom is also very proud of me as well. Kimme congratulated me. And W thinks I've done a really good job�and he said that all that really matters though is what I think about it all. But see then my lack of self-esteem crawls in and says 'you did good but you could have done better.' I want an A in my next English class, I'm not going to lie. But I think going to two classes twice a week for 16 weeks is going to burn me out quicker than I can currently imagine.

This morning I had a really bad dream. Me and this guy, could have been W, could have been Josh, but looked like neither, were trapped in a house with a murderer. We locked ourselves in an upstairs bedroom, and the guys knife kept sliding underneath the door. He was yelling, and I was trying to reason with him, and trying to call the cops without him hearing, on my (on course) near dead cellphone. The cops eventually arrived, and I tried to get away and got attacked, my arm was badly cut, and that's when I woke up, at 5:43am.

A torrential rain was pouring outside my open window and splattering on my windowsill. Once I realized that this wasn't part of my dream, I quickly got up to close the window. Water was everywhere, so I had to go get some paper towels to soak it up. It was raining so hard that there wasn't any chance that I'd be able to fall back asleep, mostly from the deep staticky echo it created on my ceiling. Not to mention, my dream.

I went in my mom's room and asked if she was awake. She responded that how could she not be. Her window was rattling from the force of the rain itself. So I stayed in her room till dawn over an hour later. We talked about various things, most of which I don't remember. And once the sun was up I went back in my room to rest until my alarm clock woke me up at the set time of 7:55 am.

I only woke up at 8 because I wanted to bid on something on ebay. And yes, I won that something that I've wanted for a really long time. And I paid a lot less than I was willing to. It�s a drivers ed game, and it's simulated driving. I love driving on my computer, and its like real-life driving instead of racing, so it's more complicated. Plus I'm wanting to learn how to drive, seriously. This for now, the real thing when I'm less panicky.

After I won, I crawled back in bed, and woke up at 1:42 pm.

I then watched some southpark cartoons, and the very good movie The Grapes of Wrath, which is amazingly part of my own ancestry, some of my direct ancestors being Oklahoma sharecroppers in CA at that exact time. I think that's where I get my 'never give up' stubbornness from.

As far as school, I should be able to sign up for my classes as soon as I get a promisory note from the financial aid office. I found out that they set up a preliminary financial aid account, and debit your at school purchases from your grant money, then send you the balance later. That way, you can pay for classes, books, and supplies even without actual money. I guess it'll have to work.

So far there's 9 in one class and 5 in the other. They're not too big yet, but slowly growing just the same. I've been wondering how many people I'll share both classes with. The odds are actually rather good, since they're both first year classes. I hope I like my classmates, and I hope they like me. And I hope my stupid hair doesn't look bad, or noticeable. The level of anxiety among everyone on the first day of my class last semester, let me know that we're all inherently nervous about what others will think. And that it's okay to be shy. So I plan on being as shy as I need to be, and not pushing myself too hard. Once I feel more comfortable there, I'm sure I'll come out o f my shell in equal measure to my comfort level.

The college just posted my English teacher's name, it's a female. I'm going to have to ask her to be brutal in correcting my writing, and note all of my mistakes and the proper corrections. This is because I want to really learn what it is I'm doing, as I plan to write professionally at some point. I'm sure the teacher will oblige.

I'm so anxious to get my books. I think I want those more than anything, the bookstore said they'd be out on the shelf this next week. I love text books, in fact I've kept mine from every class I've taken since I was 14. Granted it totaled 3 classes, but still.

And I caught a good luck jumping spider in my window yeterday as well. A beautiful spider with black and cherry-wood brown, and grey markings. He was sitting on the edge of one of the slats of my ivory blinds, looking at me. It took me a day to catch him, but I did. Now he's wandering somewhere around Santa Fe, or residing in someone else's window.

Anyway, I'm sure I have more to say, but I'm tired of typing.

~e