lillian m. blakey moon_window




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Sunlight on Earth

� Copyright 2006-2012
Saturday, Aug. 19, 2006 - 2:27 am

=*=



current theme

I bought a drivers ed game, and in any spare time that's all I've been doing, while attempting to get my mind off of school. The only sad parts are that the streets aren't named, which makes not getting lost very difficult, and there isn't any map which makes not getting lost extremely difficult. While driving for over an hour, and coming to a residential area with sprawling, beautiful homes I realized that I don't have a home of my own to drive to. That made me feel lonely.

It's a terribly addictive game, and as close to real driving as you can get with 16-bit graphics and a gam controller (my steering wheel is on its way). In the two days I've had the game, I've gotten a stack of speeding tickets, caused dozens of accidents, and have been in quite a few more that weren't my fault. I keep forgetting to check my mirrors before switching lanes, it's instinctive for me to try to run yellow lights instead of slow for them, and I keep forgetting to see any point as to using turn signals when no other drivers are present as I'm going down desolate two-lane stretches of road, or in the 'right turn only' lanes.

THIS is why I'm not driving in real life any time soon.

Yesterday I found the freeway. I have to say, I'll adore the freeway once I have a steering wheel. Its rather difficult to steer and control speed by pushing 'up' on a game controller, because the second I go to switch lanes (left or right) my 65mph speed goes down to 25 and I get hit by someone.

But I admit to having the need to escape from pretty much everything, lately. That's what I've found myself thinking and feeling while playing this game, that I'm getting out of here. Just driving on and on until I get some place else - any place.

Well, I guess I'll discuss one of things I need to escape from My classes start in just three days. There are now 17 people in one, and 15 in the other. Far exceeding my 5 per enclosed space rule. But my CS teacher was just (finally) listed, and it's a female. Both teachers are women, and I'm grateful for that as I'm not ready for male teachers yet. I just hope they go easy on us, and don't suffer from PMS too terribly.

My pink n black backpack is all packed up, sans one book. I feel so unorganized and scattered, even though I'm sure I'm not. Half of me feels over prepared, half of me keeps thinking � you're missing something. I think all I'm mostly missing is sleep.

The bookstore said they have the English book in, but when my mom asked the title, we googled it and it's listed as a 9th grade English book. This can't possibly be right. Plus the authors name was different than the page under my class section on the shelf: Miller instead of Mandell. If it is the book the bookstore said, I'm going to be so horribly bored in this class. 9th to 12th grade reading when I tested at pre-PhD level. Ugh�

I keep having dreams of W. It's depressing. And I wake up and he's not here. Then I go through it all again. The feelings and the thoughts, and how I'd be okay with it if he was in fact being a friend to me, as he promised when he broke up with me.

And my annoying neighbors � same ones � were outside from 9 am till midnight smoking. And the smoke got caught in the downwind and went straight into my apartment. My head feels like I've been sucking on an exhaust pipe.

Anyway, sorry this entry is so short, I just�my head hurts.

~e


=*= one day i'll fly away =*=

most recent entries:

waving white flags - Wednesday, Sept. 27, 2017

yeah so, stuff is happening... - Monday, Sept. 18, 2017

my mind is on the blink - Tuesday, Sept. 12, 2017

How stupid of me - Saturday, Sept. 09, 2017

finally breaking down - Monday, Sept. 04, 2017