so, my amigo P gave me a Christmas gift that, oddly enough, remains in the endless possibilities category even after having received it. A years subscription to NetFlix. Almost endlessly i can now watch any movie my agoraphobic heart desires (or Josh recommends). Plus P kinda bought me the movie Waking Life. Will I still buy movies? Yeah, i'm addicted as it turns out. But I'll buy movies I'll know I'll like, so...THAT will be different. And Josh's gift has yet to arrive, so...i guess i had a good non-family Christmas. Woulda been better if someone i'm related to had called or written, but oh well.

Also I'm the only person P got a gift for this year. Which means I'm special! :-D for some reason when i typed that, the SNL character Stuart Smalley saying 'because I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it people like me' popped into my head. I guess it's true...

What's funny is that now that I know my gift, i've reflected on all the damn NetFlix references that P made over the past two weeks. So I kind of had a "d'oh" moment, cause no i still had no clue till he flat out told me ths morning. Which is horribly typical of me, geez. I just know too much, it's often a vice more than a virtue.

Well it's snowing again here in the shade of the Sangre de Cristos, two inches and still snowing very hard. And it's supposed to snow through Saturday. W and me are as of right now having lunch together tomorrow, and 99% certainly a snowball fight for desert. ;-) And P promised to call me more often if he makes it to the other SF tomorrow.

Today I went through my class schedules and stuff, reading the book that P lent me (When Nietzsche Wept by Irvin Yalom), as well as my English grammar book, and my newly arrived 'I know I'm in there Somewhere: A Womans Guide to Finding Her Inner Voice and Living a Life of Authenticity' by Brenner PhD for my "TS" class. I've read the first chapter and to be honest, I can definitely see flaws in it, It seemms in some ways that they struggled with labeling certain things, which really is simply a flaw in the English language, not of the author. I've also found immense empathy already. Like Josh is wrong if he tells me I'm being a Drama Queen - I'm just being a Woman. :-P (I know...)

I have so much to do still just for school, and I'm obviously not going to be volunteering for the public library again any time soon. Which I really should do with P being gone. Shoulds, and too many remaining would if I could's...clothes for school, calendars, take back library videos overdue one month (thank the person who said no to late fees even though its the reason i've had Cat on a Hot Tin Roof on hold since August of 2005 - maybe i should tell them.)Hmm, I think I should stop should-ing all over myself...it's getting exhausting. Besides i have movies coming...maybe i'll be in them soon. Or, (as i once accidentally called Josh "the big cojone") If the big cojone grants my specific wish...major, or supporting roles independent films, which i may or most likely did also write the scripts for...please...:-D

There was a ballet and opera that were in my style, one was called The Cracked Nut, the other Dishpan Fantasy: A Real Soap Opera...right up my alley big cojone *wink wink*.

okay, gonna go watch the snow and type or read, or hopefully type to more people online while W ignores me in his quest to um...go outside and freeze to death so he won't have to have lunch and get the tar beat out of him by a *girl* tomorrow...sigh.

still giving a voice to my silent: ~e