lillian m. blakey moon_window




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Sunlight on Earth

� Copyright 2006-2012
Friday, Feb. 16, 2007 - 12:46 am

=*=



It might simply be because i'm sick; because my head, back, throat, arms, nose, and eyes hurt. I'm sweating and freezing cold. And really i am starting to feel that quite a few people who know me, are happier being away from me for longer periods of time, more often than not. ive simply noticed that more often than not, i'm there for my friends when they need me, but at times like right now...everyone leaves or barely sticks around.

and yes right now theres a year of pain and misery hiding inside each five minutes of my time. so their absence feels like forever.

ive been talking to W online almost every night since josh left. hes been kind to me, almost patient even. hes listened to me. hes been honest (seemingly) and hes shown concern and caring...and hes made me fall in love with him again. and it sucks more than the fact that i'm officially useless.

I have whatever everyone else has. it feels like i swallowed acid. i cant talk longer than a few words. and i feel dehydrated every few minutes. ive drank so much water today, anything but water and tea kills my throat. i cant really breathe. Ive coughed so much that my abdomen muscles painfully clench now when i do. ive had to take pain killers just to eat. and all i want is to talk with josh...

...and to have W love me as much as I love him...

i dont even care about school...or waking up tomorrow.

~e

=*= one day i'll fly away =*=

most recent entries:

waving white flags - Wednesday, Sept. 27, 2017

yeah so, stuff is happening... - Monday, Sept. 18, 2017

my mind is on the blink - Tuesday, Sept. 12, 2017

How stupid of me - Saturday, Sept. 09, 2017

finally breaking down - Monday, Sept. 04, 2017