SPOILER ALERT!! If you want me to tell you about it all in person don't read this until we speak.

With an hour left till class, I'll write for a tiny bit. I survived it!! I survived the student expo/talent show. I was there for an hour an a half till my reading, so I can be proud to say that I was the only one that I saw who had utter silence from the audience, no giggles, no snickers, no sneezes - just quiet, which equally calmed me as much as it terrified me. This means that I both had all their full attention, AND that I *gasp* had their full attention - meaning they were *gasp* all really listening to me, every single word. I got nervous and my voice cracked twice, but on the whole I did great!! AND I got the biggest applause of any reader. I even got a couple woohoo's!! hehe, yes I did. I technically was on at about 2:10pm, as it ran a bit late.

I stood at the podium lit with Christmas lights, and immediately felt a bit dizzy in the lights. Luckily the room was only half lit hiding most of the faces from my view. I looked down at my paper and what normally happens happened, the words on my notes of what i wanted to say went blurry. So I had to improvize with what I could see of it - 5th grade, Came to santa fe 4 years ago, two weeks, and people ask me why I came here...god I felt stupid for that moment. But, as I started in with my story, I started reliving the journey and saw the images still fresh in my mind. As it went on and on, I calmed down. The only word I heard was 'wow' then the room went dead silent. Pure silence, and as I noticed that calmness and fear flooded me. I knew I was getting heard, my story about my ancestors, the thing that means the most to me was really getting them. And this dorky quote i believe by Ethel Merman ran through my head and distracted me for a second and I started to get nervous and my voice cracked. The quote about how silence is the mos wonderful sound to an actor because it means you got em where they live. As I continued with that thought, I got calmer and calmer, and by the end, when a HUGE applause errupted, and a few people woohoo'd my story, I felt so happy. Not happy that it was over either, happy that I'd done it, with Bethany watching me and smiling. After it was over, the emcee said in the micm that he feltlike he was there with me. Another English teacher came up to me and whispered thatI really should submit thatto te annual review the only student publication on campus, and Bethany, who I adore even more now, told me her friend was asking who I was, and that she tought it was amazing. Later this woman told me that herself, as did a guy who was in the hallway. And while siting here, quite a few people who were there have smiled as they've walked past. I really did it.

holy shit. I got em where they live.

~e