W told me lastnight that he's dating a new girl. I already figured that by how badly he's treated me lately, talking for 15 minutes saying no more than hi. Telling me he realized that he's fially over his first gf, and having to remember how the whole time he was with me he treated me like shit because i wasn't her. He was never with me, he was with her fucking my body. He never cared about me. And i'm never trusting another person for as long as i live, which hopefully won't be too much longer. I really don't want to live anymore. This whole semester has been a nightmare and I'm through. i'm not even doing my homework, because I hate it and I can't stand my classes or clasmates anymore. I hate my school, it's a joke. I haven't interviewed anyone for classes for next semester. I haven't talked to anyone other than for the guy who harassed me. I have no friends, and even the two or three people who talk to me online, don't feel like real friends anymore, sorry it's true. I've kind of given up hope of ever seeing Josh too because it hurts too much to hope that i'll get to meet him when it's been so long and he's no closer to it. My mom is really sick, and can't do much at all anymore because she's in too much pain. I have no family. And I'm an agoraphobic piece of shit that only rapists want to know. I'm just, I took a whole xanax lastnight and it stopped my thoughts and made me feel physically numb, but didn't knock me unconscious. So I cried all night.

I also don't have any hair left on the top of my head. it's gone. I pulled it all out. so I guess this is where I stop...

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