I wrote a previous entry today for those of you who must read everything i write.

I forgot to mention a few things, so here...

In my dream this morning I was trying to find a class, not my class, because I don't think I was lost this time. But I was tring to find a class to join. I went to my old film teacher, and he was playing Lord of the Rings and clips from old 70's race car films...I left and I think he said he had no room for me. I don't think I ever found a new class that would let me in. Oh and my school had palm trees in each room and in the hallway...I couldn't tell if it was Middle Eastern or Californian.

I'm feeling really frustrated about my hair, and I'm not entirely sure where to go with it. I hadn't washed my hair since last Tuesday, but I did so tonight, and I braved looking at myself in the mirror without my hair up. It's awful. I mean I know what I do when I get overwhelmed, I pull out my hair, but it's as bad again as it was when I was 15. There really is nothing up top. Some frizz that's grown in from past pulling is all. I'm at the point where Im thinking if no one is going to speak to me at school anyway, then I might as well just start chopping it off. I'm attached to it, my hair is almost 3 feet long now, or I should say what I haven't pulled out is almost three feet long. What I have left is really beautiful, it is, but it's only half of what it ought to be. It'll be even less if I can't stop this. I hate even saying the word Trichotillomania. Trich is a little more bearable to say, but I hate what the words mean.

I just can't do this anymore. I'm pulling as I'm typing this. Maybe I should shave it all off, get a scalp tattoo of like a wicked blue faerie riding a black dragon and go cute goth like the girls in Japan do.

I wish Josh was here, he doesn't seem to mind about this stuff. I need someone in my life to care less about this stuff.

hmm

and Eric, who still exists in the cybersphere is signing off and on on AIM, 3 times now...I wonder if he's still a part-time pirate. My e-stalking told me he's somewhere in the Carolinas...South I think.

~e