lillian m. blakey moon_window




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Sunlight on Earth

� Copyright 2006-2012
Friday, Mar. 14, 2008 - 12:40 am

=*=



It's been kind of a neat past two days, actually. Mostly because after horrid Monday, I have had to seek out good things to not cry through my days and have actually wanted to be alone. (Being alone is better than being laughed at, so...)

Yesterday, I got to school really late because the van picked me up 20 minutes late, and then I got dragged all the way to downtown 7 miles up and 7 miles back before I got dropped off at school 40 minutes later (and 3 miles away from my house). So when I got to school, I wasn't about to try to do unfinished schoolwork. I sat outside in the sunlight looking out on the courtyard and wished for two hours straight that I'd brought my camera. It was very warm. The campus was beautiful. And I sat beneath the elm trees, which I noticed have just begun to bud leaves. I love this time of year.

Well, I got some photos of this today. Here is one (click for bigger).


Anyway, so, if you have access to my flickr account, there are about a dozen more campus pics.

Back to yesterday. While sitting beneath the elms, I got waved at by death metal dude #2 (yes. I waved back). And I felt grateful for the rare act of campus kindness, genuinely. Soon after I discovered that the crescent moon was directly overhead (or straight out, if you want to be technical in 'space' stuff). And a military jet flew past it. I thought of how it would have made a neat photo. I kept my eye out for bugs and actually thought about how this time of year is so perfect. The insects (like ants) aren't awake or hatched yet (i.e. around to crawl on me), and the leaves are (or will soon be) new and still uneaten.

At 5 I walked to class. I could hear the bass from the music class as I entered my psychology classroom. As the room slowly filled, I noticed that half the younger females wearing a t-shirt had at least one tattoo. Some I really liked. But it made me think, I should get something done. Perhaps a blue, dark blue, and back maori tribal version of an **ouroborus**(linky) banding around my arm. The tail and head meeting at the center of my left arm. It would have to be fairly intricate, I don't like simple tattoos. So I'm thinking perhaps yes. I also love the look if ankle tattoos, even though I know they kill you while it's being done. I need to do something permanent with myself. Anyway...

Psych class was pretty boring. It was all about IQ, and testing. blah. I have to read that chapter too. The only part that was interesting is Gardner's Multiple Intelligences scale. (**linky** for later ref.) Basically this guy is noticing that there are different styles of intelligence, some have physical intelligence, some spatial, some have math, etc. No one seems terribly dumb, just different. I thought it terribly fascinating because I have great spatial ability with art, but I can't tell direction when walking whatsoever. I believe he would categorize these as different skills. And that explains it. My intelligence is primarily language, spatial, and intrapersonal (self-awareness).

Afterwards I went and sat outside as it was still light out. I saw (and watched) a guy I believe is dating the dumbest girl who was in my 2D design class. By dumb I mean this...she couldn't glue paper together and can't hold a conversation, but is stuck up. Everyone got at least a B except for her. It's sad. He's gorgeous, dangerously so. I see him and remember that I'm heterosexual...I watched another girl chat with him for a while, then introduce herself to him. I want that ability to speak to new people in a way that they shake my hand and say 'it's nice to meet you' before leaving. sigh. but right now shy hello's is all i'll get.

He left, then about 10 minutes later I left for home. I don't really remember much, but I know W said something on AIM about "breaking up" with a certain female on friday...i don't believe him, but whatever his days in my life are numbered.

Today...

I woke up at like 8:30 am, got out of bed over an hour later, and had to force myself to do that. With an hour to do everything to get ready, I got dressed, got my books together, ate half of a bagel and ran out the door with my camera.

When I got to school I saw E, and he spoke to me for a bit. Me and him never really click, I don't understand it. I get nervous, he gets nervous, and the chat fizzles in under a half hour. He told me his car died. bummer.

I went to class and sat there by myself. The girl in class who sits next to me, did so again. And talked a bit again. Today's philosophy class covered Platonic thought (Plato) and the two worlds of being vs. becoming and how it relates to the Allegory of the Cave. I can't explain it in detail, and the level to which I feel I fully comprehend it is sketchy, but just know I find it fascinating, and it validates a few of my own observations.

My philosophy paper is now due the same week as my psychology test, which messes me up.

anyway, after class I walked around campus taking pics of mountains, trees, clouds, sculptures and art stuff, and feeling weird about it. I hate that my school uses um..."recycled" water to hydrate the campus grounds. There are signs everywhere saying "do not drink - "recycled water" in use" it's a nice term for not significantly filtered used water and it's gross. Anyway, after doing that for a bit, I thought of checking if my former English teacher was there. She was! But she's not doing so well. She's stressing out as much as I am. And she responds to stress the exact same way I do...by retreating into hermitood. But I sat in her office, and we talked about our problems to each other. It was good actually. And I seem to have made her feel better. She thanked me for stopping by and wants me to come back and visit her ASAP. And I found out today that she wanted to go to Oberlin college too (hehe). She wants me to go there and hopes that they'll make a rare credit hours exception for me. Oh. And she wants to read copies of all of my school papers. haha. So I want to copy my philosophy paper for her. Even my class writing makes her feel better. <3 And I hope she feels better soon, because she is so deserving of feeling better - she's the best teacher I've had still. And it's good to know that I did nothing wrong to make her avoid me, she's just...being like me.

Anyway, after that, we gave each other hugs goodbye, and she went back to grading papers, and I went outside to wait for my van. I almost caught a photo of ravens wind surfing, but my stupid van got in the way just as they swooped down past me.

I got home, and I've been groggy since. It was windy most of the afternoon.

Anyway, I need to sleep. I have an appointment with the only counselor who has been willing to see me for months. So I don't want to blow it. *fingers crossed*

I get to see my old neighborhood tomorrow!...or is that :-( i dunno. Maybe I'll bring my camera and get a few new pics of me on the bridge over the arroyo. it's so beautiful right there.

anyway, I think that's most of my did's...my thoughts about all of this will come tomorrow, and I'll process them then.

~e

=*= one day i'll fly away =*=

most recent entries:

waving white flags - Wednesday, Sept. 27, 2017

yeah so, stuff is happening... - Monday, Sept. 18, 2017

my mind is on the blink - Tuesday, Sept. 12, 2017

How stupid of me - Saturday, Sept. 09, 2017

finally breaking down - Monday, Sept. 04, 2017