I'm not doing so well, even after sleeping two hours longer than I meant to. I'm trembling, and my eyes are swollen from crying till 4 am. I feel really bad. And I should go to school, but it's hard to motivate myself. I fell asleep listening to Les Mis, which did make me feel a bit better. But I'm trembling, and only my meds, which I don't have, can stop that. I'm still waiting to hear about my grade for the philosophy paper.

If it wasn't finals I'd skip Psych class today - I feel that bad.

I wish I could blame something better than just having my life, and disorders getting to me. But that's it, my whole life, and my disorders. And lack of people, and new people always thinking I' m the greatest person they ever met - only to leave and ignore me when they find out.

And I'm being treated like crap by some faculty members since I voiced a problem I'm having at school - they are not getting back to me about it. And I have a feeling 3 months away from that dump isn't going to be nearly enough.

I have two hours to get ready for school...and to copy Evita, and Gypsy to my ipod. And maybe something else.

My childhood dreams can fit into my pocket these days...

And I won't see the counselor till at least May 9th...so I have no one to fall apart to till then.

~e