I'm not sure how this entry will go. I hope at least coherent. I got a little rest this afternoon but not much. I got woken up Thursday morning ("today") at 5 am by a very loud BEEP/CHIRP/SCREECH. The battery of my smoke alarm was undeniably dying. Well, it hadn't been replaced in over 2 years, so it should have been dying. But why did it have to do it at 5am? 9am would have been much more respectful. But thank whoever that it didn't wait till Friday night. I grabbed my pillow and blanket and did what I always do if I get woken and/or kept up by a beeping smoke alarm. I pouted to my mom and asked if I could sleep in her room. Lol. Now that I'm awake, I can remember doing this at around age 6, and age 10, and age 16, and age 22, etc. I often lived in apartments, and we were too poor to afford the batteries. The apartments, to save money, don't replace the batteries every 6 months, but only when the damn thing starts chirping. Nothing is different about this place, but the maintenance guy was very nice in coming over in under an hours time from the time he was notified. He also delivered my stepper to my apartment **linky to the stepper so you see what I am referring to**.

Hehe, I wanted it for a while cause every review that was intelligent gave it 5 stars, but it was $160.00 at Sears with S&H, so I looked for it on sale, me being me. I was happy to find it on sale at GNC for about half off and 80 bucks total is much nicer. So, yeah, I bought my first piece of exercise equipment that did not involve the word dumb. And I love it. I did 200 steps and burnt about 20-30 calories min. in about 20 minutes. I'm glad I didn't buy this thing hoping to lose weight, cause I doubt it will do much of that. It is great for the legs though. Ouch. :-D I bought it hoping to build my thigh muscles because it's obvious that no one will take me hiking, and I'm too agoraphobic to work out in the apartment office. But I figured with this thing, I could do 20 minutes of it when I get frustrated at my homework, or when I'm just bored. I think 200 steps a day will be my limit for a while, though. I felt kind of dizzy after about 50 steps. I'm not sure what's going on with me. Anyway, now I just need a platform bed frame so I can store it under my bed. :-)

Because of this, for no known hormonal reason (yet), I'm exhausted and a bit cranky today.

I had to clean up some piles of papers off of my floor before I'd let maintenance in my room, so I did that this morning in between being deafened by a combination of death metal and the sporadic beeping that only Cannibal Corpse and Lamb of God managed to drown out. My room looks really good now. Well, except for the fact that half of my cat has been shed onto the carpet since it was last vacuumed. Okay, and except for the fact that those piles of papers were shoved into a box that was shoved into my closet. Shh.

Tomorrow I have to actually leave my apartment again because the rather pointless income verification renewal thing to live here so we don't get kicked out is, well, tomorrow. We basically go in the office for a half hour, I often get to get harassed for being in school and threatened that they'll take my money even though they can't, we get to play ask 500 questions and sign 400 pages to re-verify that we're below the poverty level and still do not have: savings, land, resources, retirement, stocks, bonds, etc and that we still are not working, and it's not fun. We have to do this again for section-8 in about a month.

And tomorrow I get to hopefully talk to Josh, and say something for the CIA to listen to�him going on and on about the terror activities of *gasp* writing fiction, and me, ya know going on and on about not writing. I mean, so sincerely important for the country's safety. We all know how writers are dangerous creatures. Ahem. And that 'writing' has to be a code word for something else. I mean, really. He's Canadian after all.

:-)

One thing that has been on my mind since yesterday, and a fear for a while knowing that my dysfunctional relatives are like a 20 headed sea creature, and I'm like a�goldfish. Well, and aunt of mine discovered my M*Space. I've enjoyed a fair amount of online peace in the past year, except for a certain cousin who blabbed and showed my locked photos and profile to, well, everyone else in the family. This after she promised to never do that too. Well, this certain aunt, I have little against except her taste in men, her dysfunctional progeny, her enabling incarcerated relatives by caring for their pets and kids, and the obsessiveness she has shown towards me in the past as well as the fact that if I let her in, she obligates me to them and I might as well unlock my whole profile, cause they'll all read it, see it, etc. anyway. I just cannot re-do what occurred in my life between us when I was 15. They were a total, insane mess and I still have not recovered from it. In short, I'm afraid of them stalking me if I don't add her. They've done it in the past when I ignored them, and the internet makes it easier now.

So, fingers crossed that they realize that I've moved on and only want to know a few in my own generation who have not yet been to prison or effed up their lives too badly. And saying this is like asking for a fairy god mother, but may they respect me now that I'm not 2 anymore and may they realize that fact as well.

Ugh.

One last note and I'm going to sleep. I've been reading up on my old neighborhood in Seattle. Omg. They've torn down everything to build condos in the past 5 years. The 7-story 400-unit condo they built in my view 6 years ago was the beginning of a nightmare, it seems. In a way I'm glad I left now. That neighborhood was really sweet, not run down but not wealthy, just sweet. It was neighbory. Now hundreds of disabled, low income, elderly, and students are being displaced to tear down affordable apartments and build more 8-story condos. It's disgusting. They even tore down the old library for a 7 story condo. They're going for $900,000 for a 1100 sq ft 2 bed condo, that�s pathetic and if I had that much, I'd have a ranch and like 100 acres and horses and goats and chickens, not living in an egg carton on the 6th floor.

Kay, I should go to sleep. May I sleep through the whole night and not be woken up by one annoying beep or nightmares of monstrous condos. Tonight, that would be enough to make me relatively content�not quite happy, but content is good.

I'll be happy when I talk to Josh, and when I get my punching bag and gloves tomorrow too�lol. I'll explain more later, but I have an awesome therapeutic idea for that. Set to the tune of Natasha Bedingfield's song Pocket Full of Sunshine.

~e