Two things are really unbearable to face right now:

I actually cut W off and deleted his ability to speak to me in every format possible. I emailed him and told him that I can't forgive him for not taking me to Derrick's funeral. Or for telling me it's my fault that I didn't take a cab.

And I have never before been so unprepared for an essay. It is due to be written in class at 10 am. My essay outline is in pieces. I barely have a thesis statement, I have no topic sentences, I have no idea what I'm doing. I can't add quotations from the books because this book really is not that great. I'm lacking a third quote because our reading reference choices make no reference to my really great topic. I'm staring at the clock. I have 15 minutes to get this figured out.

My boss gave me a talk about how he needs me at school and that i'm much better than the people treating me like crap and dragging me down.

If only I could rip my heart out right now.

~e