Very quick entry then I should be off to bed. D wants to take me to see the Tibetan monks and a sand mandala being created for the New Years' blessing tomorrow. **linky here**

What has been distressing me lately is that my friends are all really disappearing on me. Josh included. P included. W included. Helen included. Ambassadors included. And all others included, so that my world remains D. I became so depressed yesterday after receiving a very abrupt reply from Josh letting me know that he is moving on. He still considers me a friend; he just won't be around any longer to be one. W told me much the same thing, although he is an asshole so I couldn't expect much more. D doesn't understand it and thinks I'm a really great person. He doesn't think it's healthy for him to be my whole world either. I just don't want him to have that burden.

Christmas, which I haven't gotten to write much of, went well. It was my first Christmas in am unbelievably long time, like 18 years or so. I ate posole, tamales, and biscochitos, all for the first time in my life. All were quite delicious. I am slowly adjusting to semi-spicy foods. D got me a really beautiful necklace, it is a silver Celtic crescent moon embracing a star. Inside the center of the star is a light green stone from a type of meteorite. It's really beautiful. And I loved that he boxed it in an Altoids box, because I, being a female, would never do something so dorky. I feel bad that I didn't get him anything. I would have except that my mom was sick for the two weeks before Christmas, and I only went outside with him. I spent both Christmas-eve and Christmas day with him and his grandma. It snowed nearly a foot by Christmas Eve as well, which has yet to melt off and is making this town a little too adventurous in some spots.

I've been kind of hibernating out since then. Me and my mom went food shopping, but that�s it.

I've mainly been reading, and typing to D each day since then. We text or IM each other when we're not together.

I got so depressed yesterday that D seemed worried about me. I slept over 12 hours last night. He had to coax me to go with him today, and I'm quite happy I did go. It took me 3 hours to get dressed though. He took me shopping. We went to Best Buy, then Borders. I got the Complete Poems of Anne Sexton, Aleister Crowley's Thoth Tarot Deck, DVD's Pi Faith in Chaos that I'd been looking for, A Christmas Story, which I can't believe I didn't own. Because I wanted to buy it, D gave me his copy of Anais Nin's Delta of Venus, and when he played na�ve and asked me if by Venus she meant the planet, I thought for a second and said, "I think she was referring to a whole 'other' landscape." A landscape he quite loves ;-) and thus he got my innuendo and smiled. He lent me his copy of the book 'No one belongs here more than you' by Miranda July. Something Helen had suggested I read at least a year ago.

New books and bf hugs made my day today much better, and I thanked him for coaxing me out of bed and out of my PJ's. We got some food at Trader Joes. And when we went back to his place, we ate dinner together. He cuddled his head in my lap, wrapped his arms around my leg and neck and played with my ear as we watched The Truman Show movie together.

I'm still really bummed, but not as bummed, and I'm not as worried that D will join my friends in oblivion. He likes my lap far too much to do that. :-)

I ordered my Astronomy textbook, and an erotic poetry book. And we'll be going on a mini adventure downtown tomorrow, so that should be neat. And D gave me two of his old shirts since I needed something to cover my clothes when I paint. So I'll be starting that up again soon as well.

Painting and writing. School starts again in less than a month. And then D and I will be having to not flirt in Astronomy class. :-P

Anyway, I'm okay, all is well. I still have a bf who still has me as a gf. And at roughly 2 months, this is the longest relationship I've been in so far.

If I don't write till then, Happy New Year!!

~e