�Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation" � Khalil Gibran
I can't sleep.
Apparently my boyfriend loves me A LOT. We both woke up Sunday morning before 6 a.m. And, I rolled over and laid on his chest to listen to his breathing, as it's very calming. He wrapped his arm around me and played with my hair, and I heard him sniffle. In a very cracked voice he whispered, �I'll miss you.� I looked up at him and saw tears glistening down his cheek in the very dim light that was coming through his window. That made me feel so loved that I started tearing up. We just laid there and talked about why he is going, and I let him know how I feel. He is visiting semi-dying grandparents, and as a person with little to no family, I feel that family being family to each other is important. But it didn't help us to stop crying. And it's not helping me to not feel his being so far away.
He opened up a lot more than he ever did before about how he feels about me. I had no idea he was holding so much in. So I'm processing that. It seems I'm a pretty lucky girl.
He flew to LA this afternoon. He's only going to be gone 8 days, but that's 6 days longer than we've been apart for nearly a year. ANd I've been staying 6 days a week at his place. I think we just realized how attached we are to each other. So this is really hard. We're just a couple of weeks away from the day we met. :-)
He was texting and chatting online between flights. And is home now, with his mom, step-dad, and nephew, and hopefully will get to see the non-criminal sister he had hoped to see.
Last Wednesday my dear female friend RP wanted to hang out. I've never just hung out with a female...since 99% of my friends are men. It's hard to hang out though because she is very 19 and I am definitely 10 years older.
All year I've asked him, �What do you want to do?� He'd eventually think of something. Recently I guess to encourage me to try new things, his most spoken line is �I want to do what ever you want to do.� Luckily, we are interested in geeky things. Like analyzing plant varieties in local plant nurseries around town. He won't say no to very many things I propose we do. I got a hibiscus plant. And a pitcher plant.
On Saturday, the 1st, my bf really wanted a Margarita. He voiced this and soon his grandma wanted one too...I wasn't opposed to one myself. I had only ever heard of the place we went...M@ria's, A historic SF,NM margarita restaurant. The variety of margaritas is 4 pages long. And they don't hesitate to advertise everywhere that their drinks have no less than 80 proof tequila, every other type of alcohol they mix hovers around the same. I usually get what my bf gets and the type of margarita my bf ordered, got me drunker than I've ever been. Blue curacao and tequila mixed, 60 proof and 80 proof. After half of one I was drunk, but I drank 1.5 of those and then couldn't feel much from the neck down, after thatand felt really super...unable to stand. But I remember being hyper aware of light, as everything seems brighter when I'm drunk. We got kicked out...lol. Though I'm not sure exactly why, as I don't remember. But I giggled my way right into the doorway as we left, even with my boyfriend holding me up. He got a little drunk too, so his grandma had to drive home. I drank my first alcoholic drink (Raspberry Framboise) for Valentines day, about 6 months ago. It's all my bf's fault too. :-)
alright, I'm definitely forgetting things that happened, but I need to try to sleep.
Nighty night,
~e
