Suddenly she steps, wrapped into the wind,
brightly into brightness, as if singled out,
while now the room as though cut to fit
behind her fills the door

darkly like the ground of cameo,
that lets a glimmer through at the edges;
and you think the evening wasn't there
before she stepped out, and on the railing

set forth just a little of herself,
just her hands, --to be completely light:
as if passed on by the rows of houses
to the heavens, to be swayed by everything.

Lady On A Balcony by Rainer Maria Rilke

That is the most beautiful poem of a woman letting go of her life.

I've been all weepy for much of today, so I didn;t get any homework done.

Since I got home, I cried watching a video of Freddie Mercury , and how he affected his fans, I cried over numerous poems - theyre just so friggin beautiful, I cried over theatre, I cried over a solo, haunting piano performance I listened to, I cried over my bf telling me about his perceptions of Beckett plays, because they are so honest - yet so beautiful, I ve cried over my life and how i'm almost 30 and didn't get to do anything I really love (in particular theatre), I cried at knowing that someday everyone I know will die, and fearing I won't be first to go, I cried over the level of honesty today in my school meeting, which was also a Valentine's Party, because that lebel of honesty is rare in groups and it means so much to have honesty, I cried over telling my friend R to her face that she is really beautiful and the source of her self-criticism and it made her cry and she agreed, I cried because my ex and only previous bf asked me out 4 years ago on Valentines Day...and I'm so much happier now but I fear losing this to no end.

I can so go on with this, Bjork made me cry too, because her lyrics on love are written so deeply and from such a profound perspective.

I'm just all weepy lol.

So yeah, I'm just a ball of appreciating sadness and weepiness.

I even cried in my psychology book, and the tears rippled some pages because...I guess text about happiness is really tear inducing?

And right now my kitty is curled up beside me and my typing hand is rested on his soft, furry side, and his forehead and front paw is rested on my thigh.

If I look at the crescent moon I'll probably cry more because it won't be there tomorrow night.

~e