lillian m. blakey moon_window




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Sunlight on Earth

� Copyright 2006-2012
Sunday, May. 13, 2012 - 1:09 am

=*=


I really don't mean anything to my mom. And she doesn't want to go to my graduation. high honors, active in student organizations and leadership, high GPA, honors societies, not doing drugs, award after award...

It means nothing.

When i told my mom, she just said "so you only went half-time for most of it" ...half time being blind in one eye, with disabilities, and the same education level as most 11 year olds. yeah, that means nothing.

I feel so incredibly devasatated that it means nothing to her.

After everything I have done and going from not being able to leave my house for 7 years straight and another few years after that, and struggling to go out once a week, to going to college and practically running it and achieving things no one thought possible.

And all she can do is shove other people's lives in my face to prove how little what im doing means.

people i don't even know are more proud of me than she is...

And that really unbelievably deeply hurts.

if it wasnt for my boyfriend I would stop now and not do my final final and not walk and stop everything...and maybe actually reattempt to kill myself this time around. It's that sort of a pain I feel in my heart.

Nothing I do will ever matter to her, and she is ready to voice it when ever i tell her I did something else I wasn't supposed to be able to do.

~e

=*= one day i'll fly away =*=

most recent entries:

waving white flags - Wednesday, Sept. 27, 2017

yeah so, stuff is happening... - Monday, Sept. 18, 2017

my mind is on the blink - Tuesday, Sept. 12, 2017

How stupid of me - Saturday, Sept. 09, 2017

finally breaking down - Monday, Sept. 04, 2017