lillian m. blakey moon_window




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Sunlight on Earth

� Copyright 2006-2012
Monday, Jun. 11, 2012 - 11:27 pm

=*=


So many people I know are dying too. Young people...it is going in waves. Births, and then marriages, then engagements, then deaths. It is strange. I'm not sure I like any of it. An uncle of mine, the bf's of my bf's sister, no more than 35 years old. both of cancer, both horrendous drug abusers.

A storm came in and cooled everything off tonight. It actually feels like I have an air-conditioner in my room with how strong the winds are.

I have sat in my room alone all day. That is how it will be for the foreseeable future. I am trying to get to my list of to-do's.

I am supposed to be on vacation, but that pit in my tummy refuses to release, and it gets worse as soon as i look at the smallest notebook with stuff to go through.

Writing isn't really happening yet, reading gets distracted by other things, and I fall asleep up to four times a day now depending on how hot it is in my room.

I am not good with change. I cannot handle isolation.

I remain agoraphobic and dependent on friends. But they don't understand at all, and they have better people who can drive themselves places to hang out with.

I have my books and endless levels of stuff to shuffle through. I did so much and am more alone than i was when i only knew people online. I dislike that.

I fear many things...mainly my level of sanity. I'm not sure it will remain intact by next summer.

the storm outside is frightening. The wind is actually screaming.

I feel scattered.

~e

=*= one day i'll fly away =*=

most recent entries:

waving white flags - Wednesday, Sept. 27, 2017

yeah so, stuff is happening... - Monday, Sept. 18, 2017

my mind is on the blink - Tuesday, Sept. 12, 2017

How stupid of me - Saturday, Sept. 09, 2017

finally breaking down - Monday, Sept. 04, 2017