Just when I start fearing that my life has taken a turn for an utterly mundane and boring subservience, my more dysfunctional neighbors solve that issue and make things a lot more (as in 'way too') exciting.

I had a good early weekend, as much as was possible. My boyfriend keeps throwing up, and I keep getting bad cramps, and everything else that goes along with that, a week early, and between the two things we needed to just cuddle each other because we both felt like crap. That was our time together, in between my editing some homework and job application things for him, as I am fantastic editor and his brain and body are fried by illness and by excessive heat.

On to the good stuff�

My most dysfunctional neighbor typically stays awake, in PJ's, all day, and then stays awake all night, in PJ's, talking and often announcing to the world that she really needs a hobby, like making popsicle stick baskets, paper bag puppets, or something else befitting of her maturity level? Luckily I am on the other side of the house, so I just get to hear sirens, and fighting, and the awesome idiotic motorcyclists racing by at all hours 10 feet from my bedroom window that I cannot close without risk of suffocation.

So Sunday night around 1 am, I grab my Frog and Toad Are Friends book, and I realize I'm just too tired to read it. So, I cuddle it instead and start to drift off to some place a lot nicer than here, where frogs speak, and they don't eat my bug friends�when three cop cars go racing by. I got out of bed to see three more, and they turned off their sirens at my street, lucky joyous joys. And by then I'm thinking damn, I know I live in a crappy part of town but someone really must have done something incredibly stupid for all of this. I ran downstairs as two more cop cars raced here, one stopping behind our house�of course right below my bedroom window where they really like stopping so they can blind me and keep me awake all night with those ridiculous lights. And as I peek out the blinds I see four cop cars in the driveway of my dysfunctional neighbor, and a black compact car parked in the driveway to the isde that I had never seen before. And I went to tell my mom that they are right there, like 10 feet from our door, when I heard my neighbor yell "hey, what?" and then a gunshot goes off�and then I'm thinking shit that was really not cool. And then I thought "why do I always get to live in places like this?" So I began seriously panicking, because that is what I do best and it brought back my childhood all over again, a childhood in bad apartments where drunks and gangs and bad drug deals meant I got to hear gunshots, sometimes right out in front of my bedroom. I really wanted my cellphone, but it was upstairs, and it required me to go in front of an open window where I could be seen by gun happy cops.

Once things calmed down, I stayed by the door to listen and try to hear what had happened. I'm not sure about why they shot, but the guy, my neighbor's new boyfriend, had stolen the vehicle that was parked in her driveway, and he damaged property of one of our other neighbors. According to cops he is going to be going to be charged with that. Guess she has to go find a new scumbag now. I'm not sure if she was charged with anything, but I know she was arrested.

One odd thing is that when her teenage son came home about 3 am and knocked and knocked and asked where his mom was, and someone unlocked the door and as soon as it was opened, they yelled "police!" and after that all was quiet.

Strangely enough in a town that posts when 55 cents and some gum gets taken from a car, there is no mention of this anywhere so far other than a non-descript call report earlier Saturday night of damage to property.
Other than this, I am jumping every time I hear a pop that resembles a gun noise now. The 4th is going to be so great to experience. It'll be just fantastic. Even a car backfired today, and I had to tell myself to not panic, it isn't a gun, I'm okay�

And I've been pulling at my hair again. I'd really stopped, for the most part, but now I'm back to it.

I am going for walks on the elliptical and doing well. I am up to 30 minutes straight now.

It finally rained tonight. I got to get rained on for the first time this year! :- Sad but very true.

I think I'm actually very depressed, deep down. It is weird, well, not really that weird. I'm dealing with still trying to accept a version of a relationship that is constantly overtaken by his numerous obligations. So much so that even he is beginning to wonder if he can keep it up, and acknowledges that he cannot take on much more�but only after I made it a constant discussion and telling him that I am going with him to class because at least I get to see him while we are on the road and when we go shopping together after class. It's better than only seeing him every other week, as was happening. I am dealing with school, and the fact that I am not adjusting well to life without school. I think of all the things I used to do and am amazed by it all. I am just as amazed that I cannot find it within myself to do that anymore. I want to, but simply cannot create cohesive ideas and thoughts and desires. Everything feels scattered.

Anyway, it is almost 3. I should sleep.

~e

Odd fact: the supertarget we went to does not have any ice cube trays�