Well I am at my boyfriend's house, and have been since Thursday, but I really should be at my house. He hasn't even really kissed me, going on three weeks now, though he briefly flirted enough to get me into it and then he fell asleep before it went anywhere. And last night he stayed up till 11:30 working then crashed, and slept in till 11am. I was up at 7 because he has said he wanted to go for an early morning walk. I wasn't about to wake him up though. I just rolled over as far to the edge of the bed as I could and cried. I felt very mad at him last night, and while I hate going to sleep angry and upset, I hate it more that he is so good at making me feel bad. He is now back to working and/or doing homework in the other room. Another night without affection it seems. I'm going home tomorrow, because I need to clean and stop hoping he will do something that any normal boyfriend would do. I mean, nothing I do turns him on�:- Maybe I should start writing erotica, just to keep it alive, because it does die if you don't tend to it. The desires I mean. I love Anais Nin. But even she isn't as sensual as I as can write. And no weird underage virgin stuff. I saw a great parody of 50 shades. hmm. yeah, none of that stuff...

I have at least enjoyed the company of an interesting walking stick, whose name has just been bestowed upon him. He's a stodgy fellow. He is very stiff and nervous in his movements and really doesn't move around much. It seems he is waiting for his food to come to him. Some proper European upper-class name would suit him. Unfortunately that isn't my league, so a name was slow in coming. But he has been around over a week, comes and goes occasionally and always returns, so our friend deserves a name. Hamelstun means from a grassy estate�so there, his proper British name is Hamelstun the walking stick. I have no idea if it is upper-class, but it's British, and to Americans everything British sounds upper-class. :P

And I got to watch thousands of fluttering termites fly and mate and drop their wings after a really great rainstorm today. They look a lot like fairies. :)

At my house we have a gorgeous mint green crab spider that is tending to our baby plants. If she is there when I go home tomorrow, she too will get a name.

When I last saw Brigitte, she had dozens of beautiful girly pink roses on her. She seems quite happy in her larger digs, which makes me happy.

It rained all day today, which is the first real rain we have gotten here this year. Last week when my boyfriend and I went downtown, the river was completely dried up. There has to be water flowing now, I hope.

I should be really writing, as in writing the stories I want to write. But it's hard to feel motivated to do things when your heart just want to wrap itself to a certain someone's but he is too busy/preoccupied to feel the same way. I want to go raid his liquor closet and drink a glass of sherry to knock myself out. I think I will�

I even have a pen name chosen, because I cringe when I hear mine, as I wasn't allowed to tell anyone my real name till I was about 16. And it makes it worse that I am the only one in the world with my name. The same is true of my pen name. heh. oh well. One day you will know it.

~e