I finally went to a wedding. My boyfriend said after the ceremony was over that it was pretty close to the least traditional, least formal wedding he's been to, and to not think of that when I think of a wedding. Lol.

It was a gigantic party.

I got drunk from two beers, and after 5 hours I peed it all out in an entire minute. That was the longest I've ever peed in my life, I swear. And the first time ever peeing in a toilet you could genuinely fall into. It was one of those camping ones, and there seemed to be no bottom. o.O

Before that all happened, I spent two hours fussing over how to wear what I had planned to wear. My hair was a mess, and I took a shower attempting to curl it naturally, but it is too warm so it dried too fast and didn't work. I didn't quite feel like taking time to fry my hair to achieve unnatural curls. I tried on three pairs of my prettiest shoes. It said something like "dress casual and comfortable but festive" on their invitation. So my boyfriend and I agreed to match, he wore his burgundy Cuba shirt, and I wore my long burgundy sun dress with beautiful India style embroidery on it, and I took a matching shawl even though it was hot when my boyfriend came to get me. I felt too naked in my strappy sundress to not have something to cover up.

I fussed with my hair for over a half hour and put in a ponytail, and makeup for another half hour, I did eyeliner and crystal eyeshadow, and shoes were going towards taking another half hour, but I gave up and wore my black strappy heels that I cannot walk in apparently, and took an extra pair of shorter heels. In between all of this, I even repainted my big toenails because they had gotten scuffed on the past few days. Needless to say I was horrifically nervous of everything, and my boyfriend would have been excessively amused by watching me scrambling. You would think I was running for Miss NM�Amazingly enough in all of that scuffling I somehow did not break a nail.

My boyfriend wanted to get a wedding card, and got one right before he came to pick me up. The card had a picture of a hitch. heh. And then we drove to go way up into the mountains where the wedding was being held, listening to music. The song "I Wish I was a Single Girl Again" played, and I told my boyfriend that whoever wrote that has marriage issues. As we climbed higher up its started raining, and then hailing as we got to about 10,000 feet altitude and my boyfriend had to pull over under trees to stop hail damage. I thought it was great, but not so great for a wedding or my high heels that I already knew I couldn't walk in on dry ground, and walking on hail or more was not happening.
As we found the lodge where the wedding was, I told my boyfriend that I hoped that all of the cars there were not there for the wedding. They were. At least 50 cars, but apparently no one carpooled. It was pouring so hard that we couldn't get out of the car for over 10 minutes after we parked. I was not about to get out of the car anyway, even with an umbrella. And after seeing the soaked and muddy hill I would have to climb I was not about to do it in those heels. I can resign some of my girlyness for the sake of maintaining intact ankles when absolutely necessary. This was such an occasion. After writing out the card in the parking lot, the rain lessened enough to make a very slow "run" for it.
When we got inside it was crowded with at least 80 people. Loud music. Laughter. I looked for anyone I knew and recognized no one. Loud people in loud clothing. And there I was in my feminine burgundy sundress wrapping my black and pink shawl around me for security, like armor. My boyfriend wanted something to drink and asked if I did so I said sure. He was trying to sign to me the different kinds, but people kept standing in the way so he summoned me to walk through a wall of greedy food-enticed loud people who were not exactly agoraphobically friendly. Then he rattled off a list of beers and wines and hard liquors and I just told him what I do when I get overwhelmed by too many options�"give me whatever you are having." That solved that. If only I hadn't gotten so drunk that I can't remember what it was. Oh well. The only thing I could eat was hummus and pita bread, the rest of the options were too greasy for my tummy.

We made the rounds in search of anyone we knew and got hugged by the groom who was so happy to see me that I thought my boyfriend told him I might not show.

Then we made another round, drank our beers, talked to each other and got ready for the ceremony, which was to be held outside. They rounded us all outside and tribal Rasta music started up. It was then that the bridesmaids dressed in tribal style clothing came dancing out together with the bride to the tribal music. It was very celebratory. And as the dancing went on, the storm overhead swirled in the sky. And within 2 seconds of the final drumbeat a huge bolt of lightning struck near enough to hear it crack a tree and then thunder hit, and we all decided to go inside. As I went inside the rain poured like I have only seen twice before here. It flooded everything. And we all watched in awe. Eventually my boyfriend followed the music and we spent time with the Rasta singer as they serenaded the rain. It rained for 40 minutes straight, in which time I started a second beer.

My boyfriend finally found someone he knew from tai chi. So we talked with him and watched the rain falling and the beautiful mist and steam that rose from the thick towering trees up the mountainside.

After the rain stopped, they rounded us all up again, and we stood together in two separate groups on either side of the aisle. The�who is the person who recites the vows to the couple? That lady summoned everyone even closer. We were in the first row. The two little flower girls were no more than two years old. They walked down the aisle and the n stopped as one said very sweetly, "we're supposed to drop the petals." And they proceeded, in their adorable sundresses, to drop the handfuls of petals in one giant heap at the end of the aisle. It made the groom and the rest of us laugh.

The groom was standing at the, uh�fire pit, heh. And slow Rasta music and singing started up, and the bride was accompanied by her father, which was the first hint I saw of her father accepting their union after 10 years (he didn't want his daughter being with a black man). As she got up to her soon-to-be-husband they both got really seriously nervous. But it was briefly broken because one of the little girls said "now we have to clean up ALL the petals" and they proceeded to do so. The couple had to be reminded to breathe and focus on each other. I tried really hard to focus on them but I kept thinking, and wondering what it would be like if it were me and mine up there, and I held my boyfriend's hand, which was wrapped around my shoulder, really tight. As the vow reading lady started the ceremony, she thanked us for being there as the community to celebrate their union.

Their vows were completely personal to each other, and that made it so beautiful. I have always had issues with the traditional marriage vows, they sound too possessive. I don't want to say what they said because it was meant for each other, but there wasn't a dry eye, even the guys were sniffling, though some tried to hide it. My boyfriend looked at me, and I had tears streaming down my face, and he smiled and squeezed my hand even tighter. I decided then and there that he will marry me, legally too.

As the ring bearer brought the rings, he handed them to the new best man (who was not our friend who likes to kiss on my husband, sadly he was nowhere to be found). And the best man fumbled with the rings. The groom laughed and said "hurry up, it's going to rain again�" and the rings were placed on each other's fingers with another personal message. And after it was announced they are husband and wife we all screamed and clapped. And then the really loud music started blasting. And all of the drunk people got busy dancing.

After the long bout of entertaining drunk people dancing to hip hop, rap, 50's, all sorts of stuff, the cake was to be cut. I couldn't see it happen, because it was inside, and the area it was in was too small. My boyfriend sweetly held me and described to me what happens at the cutting of the cake (one of very few parts to a wedding that I knew).

They had a strawberry cream cake that someone made them. Me and my boyfriend almost always share sweets, and I am not a girl who does that lightly. It is symbolic for me to share candy, cookies, cake, cupcakes, etc�I have to really love you to do that. :)

It was a really beautiful wedding though. And my boyfriend seemed like he realized that he has no choice now. But I think by the way he has discussed it with me, he's a lot better about it than he was before. I was also made happier because the groom, who knew my boyfriend long before I did, told me soon after he had exchanged vows, that I changed my boyfriend more than I can see. He said he can see what him and his wife have is something that me and my boyfriend have too. And he alluded to us getting married and wanting to be invited.

Throughout the day we enjoyed watching an adorable tiny baby girl laughing in her little mint green pea coat and white sundress. And the two flower girls who took off their shoes and splashed in the puddles with so much excitement and happiness. A chipmunk ran around the party the entire time, sometimes wiggling its tail defensively at the louder music. And a bird of some sort who had a large nest in a nearby tree was not at all happy when the dance music started blasting; in fact, I think she was cussing us out. :)

As I watched the little girls enjoying their lives, I thought of how if my life wasn't so screwed up by my disabilities that I would probably have kids. It seems the only way I would be guaranteed to be part of a family. But me and my boyfriend have already talked about it and if any of the kids in his family ever need a home, we will take them.

As he drove me home I told him what I want for a wedding, and we discussed driving to California in August. Because Malibu really misses me�he and I both know it.

Things I learned:
make the area look like a wedding is taking place in some way�
don't use two year olds as flower girls, or train them well if you do
don't pick a best man who is flakey
get tents�it does rain here.
Keep it small�I'm not so into 80 people at a wedding.
Self-written vows really make people cry
Party music is cool for a first dance
henna on the bride's hands is stunning
Regular cake tastes just fine for a wedding
Wildflowers for a bridal bouquet are really pretty.

~e