Tried really hard to have a good day, only to have my bf destroy it with his temper and lack of patience.

Tonight I thought to try to go to the store before tomorrow...we waited at my house for an hour till 9 when the doors opened again, and then we went to Target, by 9:16 the block long parking lot was packed and as we walked to the doors an employee was yelling at people to calm down. I panicked at the yelling and crowds going into the doors, and backed out of going into the store, only to be yelled at by my boyfriend and now I feel like a piece of agoraphobic shit.

he isn't talking to me, and i'm not about to talk to him. I"m just sitting here crying two feet from him, and he obviously doesn't care.

I need to add this to reasons I should move on list...I've got one started, and it isn't making me feel happy. in fact it's kind of making me realize that part of me still wants to kill myself, and t any moment it would be justified except for school...which is weird because the only other time i wanted to kill myself was because of school.

i need a hole to crawl into, today wasnt just bad, someone made it awful. and that hurts.

~e