Today I discovered just how nice my room is like this. It is much more useful. My office chair is in the middle of my desk and my table. I simply swivel around and can type on one and then write on the other. All while being serenaded by Chopin. I need a lamp though, this house is very cave-like. No amount of high wattage light bulbs seems to make any difference.
And even though I cleaned my entire room, I always have this huge pile of necessary crap that I never know what to do with. It is a 4x5 foot pile, on my floor, and I have nowhere to put it. I need all of it.
Today after work my boyfriend begrudgingly took me to go shopping. I bought my first pair of sea green curtains. And I realized I also bought my first ever metal curtain rod with a nice scroll design. It is antique bronze and very pretty. I always loved pretty curtains. As a child my apartments always had ugly beige, light blocking, thick, harshly textured, short curtains that collected dust. They were on tracks, and the tracks never worked. And the hooks the curtains hung on came out, and so I hated curtains and liked blinds better. They were hideous and no amount of maneuvering them could make them pretty. But one of my childhood friends had really pretty girly sheer white and blue curtains in her room, and ever since then I've loved pretty curtains. They were mysterious and magical to me, particularly with a sheer or lace lining.
Anyway, I'm doing all of this because the way I've rearranged my room, the sun hits me straight in the face way too early. It's painful.
Today I felt like blowing money and getting everything I wanted, so I did. I blew $230 to be exact.
My boyfriend has been getting short with me if I take too long to do anything. It doesn't feel good or right. It feels like he doesn't want me around. I'm going to have to start shopping with my mom, who complains but doesn't make me feel bad and get mad at least. My boyfriend says he is tired from working his office job and just wants to go home and veg out, as he does every day after work. Idk if that�s normal or not, to not have energy to cook, or wash clothes, or clean at least a little after working. I wonder what would happen if we did have kids. He would not tend to them after work, that's for sure.
But I got almost everything I wanted, which is rare to say, and most was clearance, reduced price, or sale.
I have a lot to do tomorrow. Mainly emailing people and compiling information. And hanging and maybe trimming and re-hemming curtains.
I'm doing things that make me feel like I have a good, secure life.
~e
