Everything I've been working so hard for since last semester has almost completely dissolved due to other people not being willing or "able" to help.

Today I tried to make up for the three weeks I was sick and purchase things for my club event, at least start the process. The very same things I begged for someone to help me submit three weeks ago. It turns out no purchases will be made till after spring break. Giving us 8 days to do everything, print everything, make flyers, request classes to come, make ribbons, etc�

I broke down and cried and my student coordinator literally sighed and then walked away without so much as a sorry. I sat there for an hour, 5 feet from her, crying. She is in her own little world and doesn't care and is incapable of doing her job. She can't even post the event flyer online because that is too technical for her.

I am so disappointed by people right now.

I've worked my ass off, and obviously need to cancel this. Or scale it back so far that it will be a joke.

The message one gets is don't bother to do things on this campus because I won't lift a finger to do my job so you can.

There's no point, and I've wasted much of my "time off" trying to do something great for myself and others. I got outside support from up to hundreds of miles away. Statewide leadership groups. National leadership groups, student government, clubs, and ambassadors. I even have funding support from a grant making non-profit organization�

But no one in my own club is helping, so it cannot happen. I needed input. I needed feedback.

No one is here. No one is helping. No one is contributing. I tried. It is failing. I need to realize that and move on. I cannot sustain this.

I have an unreal amount of things to do to go to college again in the Fall. I'm writing only telling scholarship people that they are excluding me because I cannot go full time. It's depressing. Only one woman responded, but that one woman made me feel a little better. At least I was heard. At least someone cared enough to reply. One person acknowledged that I exist and told me to contact her. For that I am grateful. It is more than anyone who knows me has done.

I have a really bad headache from crying so much today.

~e