lillian m. blakey moon_window




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Sunlight on Earth

� Copyright 2006-2012
Wednesday, May. 15, 2013 - 12:44 am

=*=


The day ended with a beautiful silver sky.

I'm going through books to try to sell to a local used bookstore. I have a large 6 shelf bookcase of books to get rid of. It's quite a process, but even if they give me less than I would get online, I cannot fathom being the one to try to sell all of these books any other way. And we have no space in front of our house for a yard sale.

I talked with my boyfriend a little about there has been so much illness, death, dying, and sudden endings of relationships. He isn't sure why either, it is just prevailing over everything. It's devastating me on a really strange level. I'm okay with knowing that everyone has a time to be here and that even if an accident occurs, the person or being would not have passed if it wasn't their time to go. I am also okay with the fact that once something or someone exists they can never un-exist. They change forms, in whatever way the universe deems�we will only know when we experience that. We can't unexist, so then we do live on, even if just our energy, or light that causes us to be alive. I do believe that for every living being�Just not all at once�and not so effing suddenly�.and not without goodbyes�

So, while at a used bookstore this weekend, I saw and purchased the Tibetan Book of the Dead. It's a 1970's edition, with a really cool old font. When I was about 15 I read the Egyptian Book of the Dead. I loved that book, and reading of the process of what happens according to ancient Egyptian beliefs. I always loved thinking of the different parts of our beings, and the idea that my Ka could decide it wants to be a flower or a rock or a cloud�and that my heart would be weighed against a feather to decide whether I go through purification or how much.

In other news I cannot take baths or showers because the drain is somehow leaking into our kitchen cabinet below. This may mean we have to move, if they have to do too much to fix it, or if the landlady again states to me that she has no money to fix things. That will suck. Seriously badly and stupidly suck. The drain is hidden in the wall, and I can imagine that they will have to tear apart the wall to find the part of the pipe that is leaking�this most likely will mean she will raise our rent a lot in October, which will mean we are out by then. I might as well start looking for a place to live now.

I have had to move every year of my new status at school�half-way through my first semester of Freshman, half-way through my first semester of Sophomore, and it's looking like before or by or during my first semester of Junior as well�

I don't know what will happen. But I would give anything to take a bath and not have it flood my kitchen.
~e


=*= one day i'll fly away =*=

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