lillian m. blakey moon_window




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Sunlight on Earth

� Copyright 2006-2012
Tuesday, Jun. 04, 2013 - 2:26 pm

=*=


My room smells like smoke from the two fires on either side of my town. I can't close the window because it is 80+ in here and we have no air-conditioning. Smoke mixed with a breeze is strangely more bearable.

Aside from getting the two courses I needed for Fall, things have continued to fall apart...quite literally.

On Sunday we finally got to the mold issue, and it has indeed spread. It is on one full sheet of drywall about 4 feet x 6 feet of size, but because it goes beyond the support beams, it would all have to be replaced, another few feet beyond that. It is half the size of the kitchen, and the mold is also on the support beams. The support beams can be bleached and painted over with mold killing paint, but half of the ceiling in my kitchen area is going to have to be replaced. If this was my kitchen and not my landlady's I'd be less afraid. I don't know what will happen. We could remove all of the moldy drywall and toss it, bleach the mold, and paint it over once both are dry then ask that she hire a contractor to replace the drywall. I don't know what is going to happen, which is great for housebound, completely isolated level of stress to take over.

I'm going to a professional conference in a town 4+ hours from here tomorrow. We are staying overnight. Normally I would be excited, but unfortunately I've outgrown all of my good clothes. Somehow. Not my waist so much, but my butt and boobs are stupid now. So I won't be dressed �professionally� I don't think. I can fit in my stretchy jeans. :-

I am on a one meal a day diet with some extra fruit as a snack. I am about to cut juice along with my cutting sugar. I am not fat by anyone's standards at 145 lbs, but I am used to 115-120 lbs, so I feel awful and hot and heavy. It ism't good for my knees or spine either. I wonder if it is from stress. I don't think I have been eating more than normal.

I don't know, I just need to lose it asap.

Our friend S is being seriously mistreated by her relatives. They are now trying to have her moved out of state and committed to a hospital rather than have in-home care. They are so rich that I cannot begin to express it because in all of my lifetime I will not have what they earn in a month. They are unbelievably wealthy family. Billionaires. The amount of wealth they enjoy, I cannot even fathom. And here they are stealing, and going against her. They are evil people. They scare me.

She grew up with servants, nannies, cooks, drivers, best private schools, multi-million dollar mansions, and they are doing everything they can to screw her over. Her own family. There isn't much I can do. I don't have lawyers like they do. If they want to take the house and everything she willed to us, they can. I cried last night over this. I cannot fathom anything they do or have. My world is so small, and if I had that amount of wealth I would do so much good with it.

So I don't know if I will ever see her again. They are here trying to steal her away as I type. She and I got a long incredibly well, despite having lived in complete opposite realities our whole lives. She wrote a birthday card to me calling me her sister. It really feels that way. She is like the big sister I never had. She experienced things that are rare, as well as deceit and betrayal that I know so well. We have illness in common and a need for people to be honest and safe at all times. I just want a friend who stays for once, who isn't taken away. In my life, here, doing things together. I haven't known that since I got sick 21years ago. I fear I will never know that.

I'm not sure what to do.

I need to look for a cooler on sale and my sunhat, we have a long, hot drive tomorrow.

~e


=*= one day i'll fly away =*=

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yeah so, stuff is happening... - Monday, Sept. 18, 2017

my mind is on the blink - Tuesday, Sept. 12, 2017

How stupid of me - Saturday, Sept. 09, 2017

finally breaking down - Monday, Sept. 04, 2017