Even though I feel like I am being being buried by my homework, I am keeping afloat fairly well. It is hard to do when one instructor gives you between 7 and 10 assignments per week.

I'm beginning to wonder and think no one reads this diary anymore. Perhaps I should move on. Or lock it. Or both.

I remember when d-land was a safe place to be. I don't feel safe here as much. I don't know what I feel. vulnerable and human and frail and trying to make the best of things even if it means avoiding everyone i know. People who not only stopped reading, or moved on, but stayed here and went from supportive people to those who will not acknowledge i exist...that doesn't feel so good. I did nothing to them.

I am in great need of support, but do not know how or where to go. Needing a friend. And really wishing my boyfriend's crazy aunt wasn't visiting so I could talk to him about things. I am avoiding her, and he is helping me because "you don't need that kind of ill in your life anymore" but then why is his kind of ill okay? I would discuss it, but he has to appease his aunt until she leaves. I personally would tell her that she is a sociopathic wretch of a human and not welcome in my life or my house. She will probably say such things anyway because she is not in any way grounded in reality.

I am craving brownies. And I need to remember to drop my excel class and send mt transcripts to my future school, since my club did not make it.

I am grateful that my cat is not eating my plants.

Anyway, just thoughts probably no one will read. Back to reading more about babies. I am wondering when we will move on, 7 chapters so far and we are only up to age two.

~e