I again turn to my diary due to having no one else to go to.

I am feeling overwhelmed and in all honesty pissed off. I have no idea what to do. I can never get through to anyone at the horrid college I am in this semester. There is so much that is wonderful: things going on in my life, the weather is amazing, the trees and fields are golden, the storms are magical, but my classes are ruining it. To be more specific, my developmental. psych professor is ruining it.

I have to at least get B's for the Master's Degree program to accept them, and then I have to maintain a very high (like 3.7 GPA) to get into the program I'm thinking to go for. But I have consistently been getting between 75-85% on my tests because of my instructor�s insistence on false answers listed as correct ones and in playing logic games in his test questions. In short he flips questions, he gives an opposite example that is not in the textbook, and then you are supposed to (with time running down) think...well if A+B=C then...or A is to B as C is to...it is really pissing me off. I am stressed and distracted as it is because I live in a goddamn ghetto area that is way too loud, even with my window shut. You have to turn the textbook info backwards in order to get some of his answers correct. One example I can give is that the textbook only says the prefrontal cortex grows �after early childhood�...it doesn't anywhere say when it stops growing. Not in any sense of any example does it hint at anything...so his test question is: the �frontal lobe grows through...� then he gives early childhood and early adulthood, as the two main possible answers. Well the textbook more closely says the first, in reality. But his answer is the second one...where he gets that I have no fucking idea, because it is not in my version of the textbook. For all I know it could stop at puberty, it literally does not say. It is in fact only discussing children, and adulthood is only mentioned as future possible outcomes when childhood traumas occur.

And then I started wondering why I keep getting such bad scores in my tests, a literal first...I never got below a 90 on any test, and most often only ever missed one question on short exams and on longer exams of 50+ questions, usually got no less than 96%...Well I finally looked at my test this time having gotten 75%...

I found this so far, which I knew was wrong to start with:

Incorrect
The most common cause of death of children worldwide is:
Selected Answer a. accident.
Correct Answer: c. Violence.
Yet I looked in my book and found this:
"In every nation, more children die from accidents than from any other specific cause."
The answer of violence as a primary cause of death answer would only be true if it were asked in relation to disease:
"more young children die of violence, either accidental or deliberate, than from any specific disease."
I am checking the rest of my answers and emailing his ass...I don't expect him to respond because he doesn't.
I really really really want to drop this stupidity. Why am I doing this AND paying for it, thanks to the loan I was forced to take out. I am paying so a half-assed professor can take away points based on HIS incorrect answers...not mine.

He also has not replied to my request of how I am supposed to write my paper on the socio-cultural effects on childhood through adolescence when we are at the developmental stages of 2 year olds. We are not supposed to do research. We are merely to watch videos that are literally 1 minute out of sync between the audio and video, which is hard enough to try to make sense of. The videos simply show teenage mothers in their cultures mothering their babies to a certain extent, there is not mention of developmental stages in relation to their mothering.

Okay, instead of doing homework, I am going to watch the storm outside and maybe play guitar and watch a movie...

I needed to vent, because I am an intelligent, and aware human being who should not be subjected to or paying for such incredible stupidity...from a PHD candidate no less.

If I drop out I owe $2200.00...which I cannot pay. But is this stress really worth it? Really?

~e