I wanted to update to say that a lot of good (all not school related) has happened in the last week of my life. I SHOULD be focused on that, though homework and filing complaints is so distracting and overwhelming. :(

My boyfriend really helped me discuss the paper I was trying to write and helped me to ficus through feeling stressed. The videos still do not work, even though he supposedly extended the deadline, he removed the videos required to write the essay...i feel bad for the many in my class who did not get that done. From being a writer-person, I have the ability to extract info and piece it together, many do not. I have to read 70 pages by Monday, which feels brutal.

Last week me and my bf went to visit the Aspen trail before the snows hit, and we hiked about 8 miles from 10,000 to 12,000 feet altitude and at times a fairly steep up-climb, which is a first. We saw a young and very paranoid bitching squirrel, we saw lot of birds, and dogs, the creek, a lot of beautiful nature, and it was sadly the most crowded we have ever seen it, which destroys some of the beauty. But I will say the further out we got, there were less and less people. I think if I didn't have to pee I could have gone the extra two miles to the top, but knowing i'd have to pee in a bush and don't have the man-parts that makes that easier, made me turn around...damn bladder. I did very well despite not having done that type of hiking for years and being 20 lbs heavier than when I last did that. I thought I would be in pain, but the only things that hurt were my feet because I hike in minimalist shoes due to twisting my ankles easier if wear real hiking boots that cannot bend with the rocks. My feet hurt and my knees bent backwards for a day, which is a side-effect of being hyper-mobile that really sucks. But I am fine now.

And on Saturday we went to the farmers market and got carrots, onions, kale, tomatoes, and potatoes, my mom got bell peppers too and my bf bought us yummy Indian horno bread. Best bread in the world, except maybe challah...i have a soft spot for real challah. I also saw my favorite teacher-person and got to hug her and see her baby belly. It was good. I wish she wasn't so busy, but she is.

It has gotten very suddenly very cold out, which has some benefits. Mainly that I will no longer want to go outside at all, and so being cooped up in my very small room isn't so bad. Especially if it's like 8 degrees out. Being agoraphobic AND not actually wanting to leave the house are a very good mix.

I bought a bunch of movies from my childhood and have been really enjoying watching them, among them: Hocus Pocus, Back to the Future Trilogy, The Neverending Story, The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown, etc.

The Neverending Story reminded me of who I was as a little girl, why I loved books and dreaming possibilities up. I had nothing, literally...no family but a stressed out mentally ill mom who let me get away with a lot while only being there half the times I needed her. I lived for books, and films, and being out in nature. In the end a single grain of illuminated hope remains in the vast darkness, and from that grain all wishes come true...and so i bought the book because I never read the book, and how I never read the book is beyond me...

That is why I loved that movie as a little girl, plus its just effing amazing how good movies were before they were half computer generated.

I also gave up on finding good embroidered curtains and bought a fabric shower curtain to use as curtains instead. I'm debating cutting it in half or leaving it full. For this window it doesn't matter. It matches my room pretty closely and it has pretty embroidered dragonflies on it...so I love my room now, at least as far as my embroidered flower quilt set and my dragonfly curtains...otherwise it needs a good cleaning and organizing again.

7 weeks left of school. I feel about to collapse already. I also gained tinnitus in my left ear, which I normally have in both but it is an even tone and ignorable...this new version in one ear is an awful screeching that pulsates like a broken alarm. It's irritating, it actually wakes me up, and I hope it stops soon.

Also, if I can get skype to work, I may be video chatting soon with one of my dearest friends (who was forced to leave two years ago without notice) who lives in the bush of [email protected] crazy is that?

Life is freaky and awesome sometimes.

~e