During the week of Finals it all comes together in a realization...not learning, or doing things in a timely manner...but that I am paying over $2000 for two courses where every single assignment, lecture, exam, and discussion question was created by the textbook company. NOT my instructor, one of which I think has a PhD, the other has a Master's Degree.

I sincerely got a better education at the Community College, where I was taught almost entirely by PhDs (and not TA's) or by professionals in the community, who created their own curriculum...which is why I could get good grades. Because they actually TAUGHT, they were interested, and they engaged us. They weren't just repeating mindless, very badly written, nonsense spit out as higher "education" by a for-profit, bloated, narcissistic book company that doesn't care if they tell false info to students, that will have a detrimental long-lasting impact on their understanding of what is going on...we're talking Psych courses, for future counselors, and psychiatrists, and psychologists, not just some fruity subjective English course.

So I have come to the conclusion that my instructors and the admin at the college I will be stuck at another semester, are therefore thoughtless, mindless worker drones, and that is why I cannot possibly get good grades. I have, each week for the past 15 weeks, clarified something, questioned something, pointed out things that made no sense, corrected exams, and wondered what the hell kind of experiment I am being subjected to.

To know that I am entirely just learning to the textbooks, that are so badly written, and often inaccurate, and paying 10x higher than what I paid at a 2 year college, while getting a much degraded education, is..

REALLY PISSING ME OFF!

I'm not sure I can do anything about it, except avoid courses from now on that require a textbook.

I noticed that none of the courses I'm signed up for for spring have textbooks, they instead have a shitload of non-textbooks. I'm also not so into the topics, but religion and lit seems okay...the books are all by men and seem very dry and honestly quite depressing. Having said that, Dostoevsky sure as hell beats a badly written textbook though.

~e