Quick entry before I crash. I spent a total of three days on the phone and sitting beside the phone as my mom had to speak for me once my anxiety got the better of my newly-developed arguing-via-phone capabilities. My psychiatrist's nurse also spent hours over two days time first filling out the prior authorization that was requested, then, yes it was denied, and so she spent hours today (Thursday), on the phone advocating for me to get my meds covered by my insurance. She told me that they stated that I needed to again take the meds I have already tried that didn't help me, or made me worse, or just didn't work that well. She actually fought for me to not have to appeal it myself (which could take weeks), by requesting the appeal on my behalf, which made it go directly to the director...where my request to have the medication that allows me to leave the house and handle, pretty much everything even slightly stimulating, was then approved.

When my mom thanked her she merely said she was just doing her job. I don't think she realizes that she is the first to "just do her job" and help make my life better and more dignified.

I am actually in shock. I only found out a few hours ago when I received an email stating my prescription is ready with a price of $0.00 (instead of $91). I thought that maybe it was wrong, and then I checked for a couple of hours, and re-checked, and tried to find evidence, and noted my price listed before was in fact $91, and now was $0 with my insurance code listed...which I actually have never seen before, as I have always had to pay for it fully myself, which I now cannot afford to do. I eventually just chatted online with my pharmacy and they confirmed the prior auth was received...and so I am up, thanks to no meds yet, but I will have them tomorrow. And then I should be able to focus enough to do my homework.

And I am so unbelievably appreciative for the kindness of a handful of people, from small ways to say they care, to big ways. Including someone I know at school who has come up to me twice in two weeks, when I was feeling awful (both times) and talked to me and asked if i was okay and gave me a hug when i told her why i wasn't exactly 'okay'. Funny that she was in that foodstamp photo argument herself, as she has two babies and qualifies herself and was likewise hurt and offended by it and voiced it.

Anyway, human kindness is going a long ways to making me leave the house at all these days. I still don't feel like socializing, but maybe once I get sleep, I can handle dealing with people again.

Tomorrow I get my first pair of completely paid for glasses, and I get my first completely paid for prescription...

All because people cared enough to fight my medicaid insurance for that for me.

It doesn't feel real yet. I'm not used to be treated like a real person.

~e