�I used to imagine adventures for myself, I invented a life, so that I could at least exist somehow.�
― Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Notes from Underground

I really miss having time for literature.

I stayed home this weekend, and likely will next weekend too.

Despite sitting here, I have no motivation to do homework. I am likely actually depressed...which is an odd feeling to me. Not that I do or don't have reasons. I both do and don't.

This week two friends got married, and then I found out one had a baby 4 months ago. I gave the last one my number, as she asked for it, but I haven't heard from her yet. We were once very close.

And here I am, plugging along, struggling to do homework that is mostly meaningless. Having to revert to operant conditioning as any other forms of extrinsic motivation is now fully lost on me.

I don't even want to talk about the cats right now, other than to say that they have kept me up for 3 days now, but have not yet killed each other. So that is good. Sadly, thanks to my cat trying to be friends by carelessly jumping into her twice in two days, the possibility is strained, and she is still hissing and hides under my bed 22 hours a day. Poor cat. I really think not only is she scared, but she thinks my sister abandoned her, which isn't true. I have her because she wanted to keep her but wasn't in a place to do so right now. How can you possibly express that to a cat? :(I suppose the fact that she comes out at all and explores the house is a good sign. The fact that she has in fact jumped to sit next to my cat and scared him, and then reacted to him being scared by hissing, is another good sign. She is trying to accept him. Distracting her with food and toys really helps.

My boyfriend found a doctor that is actually getting on him about some stupid things he does...like not getting immunized. He has also had itchiness on his scalp for over a year now, and hopefully this new person figured it out, because the previous one sure as hell didn't.

I'm so tired, and I have a sharp pain in my belly button area every time I sneeze and a low level pain in my right kidney.

I have to go to fitness class tomorrow, but I don't want to go. But I have to. And then paying rent, shopping at 3 or 4 stores, getting mail, coming home and doing homework I have no desire to do.

Semesters are way too long...and cats don't at all sleep when they should.

~e