lillian m. blakey moon_window




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Sunlight on Earth

� Copyright 2006-2012
Friday, Apr. 11, 2014 - 10:24 pm

=*=


I was told by the department Chair today that because no one has ever complained about my instructor that my complaint has no basis. My instructor also was sent my summary of issues without my permission to do so, and my instructor replied with numerous lies, all of which I can prove based on his emails. But I now no longer give a fuck. Everything they stated was that it is my fault somehow...his not actually covering the material on lectures or handouts is my fault.

I am still trying to process having my experiences and statements and even some proof totally uncared about yet again, because of my shit status in life, and have been crying all day. I have a migraine and feel numb and immobilized. I don't even care that I have unfinished homework that is about to be late. I don't care that I will fail if I don't complete the next 4 weeks' assignments. I feel...like I want to crawl in a hole and die.

I have just over a month left, and I no longer care.

I'm tired of fighting and trying only to be treated like shit by inept or uncaring �superiors�.

I can't fight anymore. I HAVE NO SUPPORT. Even the disability center at school just said who I can write to next, no assistance or support to do so, even though I told them my instructor is insisting he never received my accommodations letter from them. I've told them that throughout this semester, and they merely reply that they did send it to him.

I'm so tired of existing completely alone in my room and pretending to be happy if I leave the house. I'm not happy. I'm trying to get off of SSI. I'm trying to try to get off of the system and become respectable person to these bastards.

Why should I try if this is how I get treated? At least now I'm guaranteed $720 a month and sitting at home without going to school, i'm better off than this crap I'm getting in college now.

I'm really not okay. If I didn't have agoraphobia I would go to the main street and jump in front of a semi truck right now. Stupid me that I am, ill sit in my bed and cry instead, being too afraid to go out alone.

~e

=*= one day i'll fly away =*=

most recent entries:

waving white flags - Wednesday, Sept. 27, 2017

yeah so, stuff is happening... - Monday, Sept. 18, 2017

my mind is on the blink - Tuesday, Sept. 12, 2017

How stupid of me - Saturday, Sept. 09, 2017

finally breaking down - Monday, Sept. 04, 2017