my life went insane since Thursday, as a consequence I have a low-level migraine that isn't going away...so I can't type here too long. My right eye also feels like is about to mutiny.
Today we also came within a foot of getting a squirrel to heaven. He was in the middle of the road, facing opposite, so my bf thought it was a bag or something in the middle of the 5 lane road...I have this tendency to beg him to not run over anything in the road because I am literally terrified of ever experiencing animal vehicular homicide, of knowing that "bump" was a critters final moment...luckily my boyfriend listened and slowed down a bit, the squirrel turned, and bmy boyfriend slammed on the breaks, coming within a few inches of him when the car finally stopped, at that point the lil dude decided to run back to the sidewalk. Stunned. That was close to experiencing my biggest vehicle fear, even more so than a car accident, though I do fear that too.
I want to preface this next paragraph by asking why people who work with SSI are so often so mean? Thursday I talked with a very snappy and critical and perfectionist P@SS lady, who was so mean she first made me panicky, then she made me cry. She pretty much slammed my entire plans and goals and acted like they will in no way support a secondary education as a goal, because "the goal is employment ASAP"...not necessarily what you want to do in life...that set me up for a good crying and arguing session with her. One in which i stated that I then wonder why I should even try to get a bachelor's degree, as that is only happening because I need it for a Master's.
By the way she was acting I may very well be a rare breed who had a comeback to each of her rude comments, justifying why I have the goals I have...my answers and in-depth explaining actually even shut her up a few times.
Right after that, being fairly still upset,I called the D V R lady who was a lot more human and who gave me much needed compassion, empathy, as well as advice on how to reply and plan, and a promise to assist me personally as soon as D V R processes my case. She also stated that if they deny me, she will submit it, as I will be fully in the program by that point. She also stated to me that the program is retroactive, so I can go ahead and do all that is needed to accept the internship. She is very sure they cannot deny my application as I am so close to completion.
So I submitted the requirements to the city, and we will see how it works out. I will meet my new boss after next week sometime.
My head has hurt since talking to that mean lady though.
Today my boyfriend took me to an event by a non-profit we are committee members of. Thing is I need to stop listening to him when he says we will only be for a short time...we were there over 2 hours. We were the last to leave actually. It was located in the second worst neighborhood in town (the one that is one level higher worse than mine).
A lot of people I saw were undereducated, low-IQ due to malnutrition likely before birth, possible drug or alcohol damage, marginalization,child abuse or neglect, segregation, discrimination, alienation, lack of opportunity, lack of options, etc. etc. It was sad.
It was a good event but I started talking to a lady who seems like she is either e=seriously craved for human connection or a personality disorder, and well...she wouldn't let us go...I can't be rude, but she helped my head hurt even more. Everything she said was dead honest and true. We had dealings with some if the same psychiatrists and government officials who you "go to" to get services, and the same opinions if those same people. Same experiences with same programs. She offered the info, and I told her about my own experiences. SO I know she wasn't BS ing me and pretending to have experienced it.
And then after all that, I decided to re-do the P@SS form as was suggested by the compassionate D V R lady, so I am halfway done with completion. It will be mailed by Monday. I have to write a letter to explain myself and that i know the counseling program fully, and what the career entails.
All of this and a kick-ass sunburn means me and Advil are buddies tonight...
