i am becoming so unhappy with so many things in my life, that it is beginning to crush me.
Living with my mom, my horrible neighborhood where no one ever sleeps, my flip-flop relationship with my boyfriend, and his horrible temper, being disabled enough to be forced on social services because I'm not employable, the endless list of rules you have to follow to get social services, my lack of a relationship with my siblings, my inability to drive and shitty disability transportation, online education, lack of adequate financial aid, online friends disappearing and lack of in-person ones, the fact that no one does their jobs here and no one ever calls back, and my gym membership key got deactivated early, etc...I can continue. BUt that list alone makes me want to crawl back in my bed, at my house, and go back to sleep.
I'm becoming buried and unhappy.
I am really at the edge of needing to stop trying.
I've lost 7 lbs since the semester ended almost entirely from not adequately eating. I can't even say when the last time was that I actually went shopping for food. I feel weak, hot, sleepy, alone, isolated...
I was just hoping to finally have a good weekend...
maybe next weekend.