So, I found out today that I won't be interning until after school starts, at the earliest, which is a big problem, and it means I can't work 4 days a week. And I also found out I have to go through the full employment process, including application and job interview with full documentation of everything in order to get the position, and the problem with that is that I have none of the documentation they want by next week. The second problem is that I never have volunteered on the clock, I only ever showed up to help with events as they needed. It was never �official�, and I have no transcripts from the college i'm starting at in the Fall. Nothing is official. I also will have to give personal references of actual people, but most of the references I have aren't here anymore. They retired, quit, moved to another state...I've lost contact.

He is now stating he knew I would have to do a full employment process, but if that is true why did he schedule for me to start the week after the budget proposal vote?

I feel literally devastated. I'm officially tired of trying only to have my heart ripped out of my chest each time.

I really can't handle the process now, and I know that if I don't do this it also screws up my ability to afford college and get a credit hour I need to graduate. It just screws me over on so many levels that I feel devastated enough to just fully quit everything at this point. I will lose my approved P@SS plan and ability to work in the future too. I did everything for nothing. Wasted 2 months of my summer trying to do something meaningful, when I should have just stuck to reading books and watching TV.

My boyfriend is coming over to have a look at the emails and application requirements. This means I have to care enough to at least wipe some of the sweat smell off of me and get a little better dressed.
~e