I'm not sure if I can handle one more week of nothing happening due to delays, miscommunication, misunderstanding, etc. etc. For two months I have been putting myself through hell to request updates, submit info, fill out forms, document needs, call people, show up for appointments, argue my case as to why I shouldn't just sit home on my disabled ass for the rest of my life...
I'm officially tired, emotionally and mentally, of fighting everyone at this point.
The latest news is that no one knows why my internship hasn't started, but that HR is delaying it, possibly due to months of miscommmunication on the part of my would-be supervisor. For example, he has begun to refer to my internship as a �job�...which requires I fill out a job application I cannot fill out (I have no job experience the form requires), and which requires a job interview, etc. etc.
He also stated that he actually never offered me the position, which is not true and luckily there are emails where he specifically requested me as an intern.
I was very clear to state to his latest email that I cannot accept a job.
No one knows where the funds went that were approved to be allocated for my position.
No one knows why I am being out through this.
That's just the internship...then there's P@SS.
Without the internship happening, my P@SS application will never be processed and I will have to reapply...that form was hell to fill out, the evidence of expenses was hell to collect, and the lady who runs the program is mean. I just want to cry.
That leads to Voc Reh@b.
The lady who was helpful to me in filling out the P@SS application stated she would no longer work with me after my P@SS was approved, and promptly sent me to this guy who has yet to reply to get a hold of him...and that is likely because they are still waiting to accept me as a client. I received an acceptance letter, but my worker said that that wasn't a real acceptance letter, it was "a letter of introduction". They will literally drag this out, despite having full proof of my disabilities and limitations and needs, they will drag this out the full 60 days they legally can so that I cannot ask for advice on what to do with anything, which I really NEED at this point.
That leads to school, which starts in two weeks. And which no scholarship funding has been applied to my account and according to the one scholarship I would qualify for, no funds have been given to the college to be able to provide me that assistance.
My request to use the internship for a credit hour was approved, then denied and is now in limbo entirely because I am not there (200 miles away). Because I know no one and have no way to ask an instructor to issue a grade for my internship hours that are looking at this point unlikely to happen at all.
So, despite being a straight A student who is being put through hell, despite my leadership and activism and community involvement and working my butt off without family support, because my mom just wants me quit, I am just receiving federal and state grants to cover tuition and books...which is why I needed this internship to be able to afford my other expenses (like ink, paper, $200 textbooks, etc).
Everyone for the past two months has just managed to promise me something, to quasi-accept me, then drag me along for a ride as I wonder when it will really happen.
I also already have an instructor who is arguing with me over my documented accommodations. That is always fun.
I can't take anymore. And I feel really alone.
~e
