Depression kicked in again...signs that things aren't right.

People aren't meant to not have family or friends...so much of my life has been without either. And i am questioning yet again whether i, a person who can't keep even one in-person friend, who is barely maintaining my relationship, who can't even go outside to get the mail...whether i should be a counselor or not.

I can't tell whether this sadness and questioning is based in fear, based in self-criticism, or based in solid reality of hypocricy of helping others do what you can't do for yourself.

So, either way, i am feeling very alone. I enjoyed every second if bellyd@nce clas...but now i just feel like sleeping till next year.

I feel physically weighed down and heavy. I don't know...i really honestly don't kno why i am doing this...

~e