3 of my friends on fb are newly engaged and getting married soon, including one same sex couple one of which i met through dland. I am happy for them, but at the same time feel devastated that if i marry my boyfriend, or even live like were married, i will lose my income, food, medical coverage, and all disability support services i need. And it will tank him. He is barely getting by now.

It is like if the feds forbade a second spouse from receiving employment earnings. I am just supposed to be vulnerable and fully dependent without ability to contribute to my household.

It feels really shitty.

More than anything, i wish i was allowed to get married. That was always my only dream...to be part of a real family someday.

~e