I am a graduate student who will apparently be crying my way through the papers with unclear directions. I've gotten through 10 years of college doing that so far...

My diet has already shifted to "college food", mainly pre-packaged, or VERY plain food that can be left to sit and cook on its own or just heated up or eaten raw.

I have also begun analyzing this process and really missing my creative writing courses. I keep getting scenes for stories in my head, and have come to the conclusion that writing a paper in grad school is like an act of utter desperation that only progresses in the desire to have it ending the least painful process possible but it takes not caring if it actually royally sucks and once you get there, you don't care what you write, so you can actually write it.

That is my theory anyway. I guess I will find out if that is true.

But this is very overwhelming, and terrifying. And I am unsure of myself in this new environment. I am surrounded by people who have all been employed before...I have not. And I'm sure I will fail, certain of it at this point, really. But I'll move forward just to say I tried.

I have a lot to write of...I am still not moved into my boyfriend's house, but I do have a space to study here, and it is lovely and quiet and there are no drug addicts or drunk people yelling all night...for that I feel lucky.

but right now he is sick, and I am avoiding him in here...

I will be writing here again because lets face it, facebook still really sucks and people on facebook cannot communicate, and judge and ridicule and this is my diary dammit...I guess I need this again.

~e