I'm having a slight meltdown, but trying to maintain some semblance of sanity.

Not only are my health issues being what they are, but after taking over 30 hours of time dealing with my mom's health issues, and trying to get her switched to a new healthcare provider, unsuccessfully for weeks, I started the process to get my mom a care coordinator and possible in home care.

We arent moving anytime soon, because the waitlist is now over 2 years, and we live in a townhouse with a tub upstairs, and kitchen downstairs, snd my mom cant climb the stairs without severe pain and fear of falling anymore. I'm very frustrated. And im trying to maintain my own healthcare and needs and can barely do it, and cant when im busy dealing with my moms.

There just arent any places for rent here.

I am also in the middle of trying to get an internship. The place I really want stated they want a second year student, but I'm only first year. I tried to maintain my enthusiasm during the interview, but that was a harsh blow. I'm interested, and capable, but I may not get it just because im bot 2nd year. And I likely wont be able to do this focusand will be forced to do clinical, so i can't apply next year. Its now or never. She said she has a few others to interview and will let me know. I have expect the worst. And that i may not get a placement for fall.

My not having ability to drive is a huge problem, and we only have 32 agencies for 120 students here. Obviously that isnt enough.

Otherwise I would be perfect. And if I dont get it, I will feel even more devastated. When it comes to trying to be part of society, I keep getting the message that I'm not ever fully good enough.

On a semi happy note, we have the last bedroom in need of serious renovating almost done at my bfs house. Painting walls is this week, and this wekend we can start the flooring.

My bf is also getting the hang of grilling chicken. It's yummy.

My bf also bought paint to paint his shed electric blue with fuschia trim. It matches the colors inside of his house.

Im in his yard, listening to talking a friend on the phone, and trying to enjoy a really nice evening outside.

There is next to no breeze, and it has cooled from the heat of the summer day.

Ive lost 3 lbs this month so far. Mostly from cutting sweets and eating fruit instead.

Hopefully something good will happen...

~e