lillian m. blakey moon_window




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Sunlight on Earth

� Copyright 2006-2012
Sunday, Jul. 29, 2018 - 3:05 am

=*=


This weekend has been rough...lack of adequate sleep, a horrid month with 3 blood tests, and way too many Dr appointments. I got my mom an apparently useless care coordinator because she is obasessed with my mom''s lack of socializing but doesn't give a shit of her actually accessing the medical and mental healthcare she really care she needs...it's pissing me off because I'm still having to be my mom's care coordinator.

And this weekend I've seen more than 5 people I know...4 of which I successfully avoided speaking to, mostly because they pretended they didn't see me. I never ever see people I know.

It's frustrating to have friends who avoid you and who once criticized you and put you down when you needed them.

2 of them are literally across the street this weekend doing an estate sale. Me and my bf had to run errands, so when they went inside I ran for it to the car, hid behind it, and...yes, I climbed into the trunk to avoid them. My bf then made a run for it and drove off a's quickly as he could.

He is also pissed that these people...people who I supported, helped to move, helped with homework, helped in so many ways...and they in turn claimed they loved and adored me while ignoring or criticizing me and not in any way actually including me outside of asking me to do things for them.

To put it mildly he hates them for doing that to me, openly. They know I sit home by myself every day and have no family. They don't care.

So...in other news here it's been raining...A LOT. We had a flood, my street flooded 1 to 2 feet. Cars got washed into ditches and people had to be rescued from sinking vehicles and flooded homes...it was unreal. So I feel silly complaining that my house has had a roof leak, now fixed after 3 weeks of dealing with flaky roofers, when we are on a hill and didn't get flooded out.

My bf had to put his tortoise in the laundry room to keep him from drowning. Ad he has 4 areas of his home that are leaking now.

Anyway, I am up awake at 3 am with pain in my spine and side and feeling stressed that school starts in 3 weeks after what has been the most unbearable summer of my life...not kidding or exaggerating.

On a positive note, I got the practicum I wnted, with the City, doing local policy change, advocacy, etc for low income, homeless, seniors, etc and I'll be working with or near people I know and with the city council and mayor and several committees as well as grant making to nonprofits...so that's cool.

But the looming stress of school is not enjoyable at all.

More soon...I'm sure.

~e


=*= one day i'll fly away =*=

most recent entries:

The Game of Life - Monday, Oct. 29, 2018

Finalities - Sunday, Oct. 21, 2018

the ways of things - Friday, Oct. 12, 2018

I feel numb - Sunday, Sept. 30, 2018

Its all too much - Monday, Aug. 13, 2018