My bf is being a judgmental ass more again lately. A lot of it is because I'm having a hard time maintaining everything I should be able to do. Some of it him gaining weight...but he constantly bugs me about going for walks, then going out to eat, or eating ice cream right before we sleep, which he does but I don't because it makes my about to burst gallbladder feel...about to burst.

And then he gets pissy at me if I dont join him in everything.

As for walks, I dont know if i mentioned it, but I hot knee and ankle braces, but they take about 20 minutes to put on right. He gets impatient at me if he has to wait.

So, I just don't go.

I have 2 weeks till my semester starts. I am very unhappy over it. Even the happiness over getting the placement I wanted for mandatory internship is waning.

I am tired and feeling lonely and incapable of social interaction. But I will soon be forced to...I feel Ill when I think of that.

I don't have enough support in my life to be doing all I am doing.

My mom is becoming incapable of even doing her own stuff and I'm having to do everything for her and myself, and I cant...I'm getting sicker again from the stress. And I'm all I have...I've done nothing to deserve being this alone in life, either.

~e