I feel great. I am pretty convinced that I am dopamine and GABA deficient...that my dad and relatives are too. that's why they love heroin so much. i don't know about effects of meth...that made them total assholes. Its great when you know so much about brain activity and can analyze it as you enjoy it, and you already know the meds you use increase GABA:

from Forbes:

"An example of an inhibitory neurotransmitter is GABA, which reduces energy levels and calms everything down. Drugs like Xanax and Valium (and other benzodiazopenes) increase GABA production in the brain, resulting in sedation. Alcohol does the same thing by increasing the effects of GABA. This, by the way, is one reason you don't want to drink alcohol while taking benzodiazopenes; the effects will be amplified, and that can slow your heart rate and respiratory system down to dangerous levels.

So what we just discussed accounts for the depressant effects of alcohol: it suppresses the excitatory neurotransmitter glutamate and increases the inhibitory neurotransmitter GABA. What this means for you is that your thought, speech and movements are slowed down, and the more you drink the more of these effects you'll feel (hence the stumbling around, falling over chairs and other clumsy things drunk people do)."

and then there's dopamine vs and in addition to depression...

"But here's the twist: alcohol also increases the release of dopamine in your brain's "reward center." The reward center is the same combination of brain areas (particularly the ventral striatum) that are affected by virtually all pleasurable activity, including everything from hanging out with friends, going on vacation, getting a big bonus at work, ingesting drugs (like cocaine and crystal meth), and drinking alcohol.

By jacking up dopamine levels in your brain, alcohol tricks you into thinking that it's actually making you feel great (or maybe just better, if you are drinking to get over something emotionally difficult). The effect is that you keep drinking to get more dopamine release, but at the same time you're altering other brain chemicals that are enhancing feelings of depression."

I'm really enjoying the delusion of feeling content regardless of the unfinished crap i've got going on...

yesterday, I spent most of the day looking at my future internship...no options are in any way okay...there are only about 8 options. vs about 25 for clinical focus. That makes me regret the focus and want to change to clinical...ugh. i really hare clinical theories though, even when very drunk.

~e