After a totally disappointing day, of not speaking, then randomly being forced to speak, all under very odd circumstances...(the first was my supervisor popping it on me that i'm running the meeting with less than an hours' notice, which got thwarted by a compassionate universe and two people (thank god) being late which meant a total lack of a quorum, which meant my not running the meeting, , then being asked by a semi-crazy lady who works in the building totally random things, one was a funny confession of Easter candy she gave my supervisor that has gone uneaten by my immensely sugar addicted supervisor, she'd asked me what i thought it meant...a question for which i held my tongue about the very symbolic act of it not having been eaten yet lol...then a random visit by two ladies who were looking for a committee meeting that was apparently, unbeknowst to us all, cancelled...this happened after everyone left for the day leaving me there by myself to rationalize and comprehend and then explain my version of reality totally alone...though the crazy lady laughed and enjoyed my lack of knowledge...i shouldn't really call her crazy, shes just...well

Anyway, this 'crazy lady'. or sincere lack of more appropriate term (maybe needing to seek a thesaurus for synonyms) ..so, i've never seen her work...she does rounds socializing with everyone, she laughs ALL DAY LONG and pokes fun as if shes severely depressed, which i dont blame her...besides, she noted and liked my 'party of one' enough to join me in a 'party of random two' for some unplanned bits of oddness, distressed and uneased laughter, and equally odd commentary. lol.

I got driven to my bf's house after, because, my bf has had to be in work meetings until almost 8 now, but he called because i confessed i hadnt eaten all day...so he's bringing me home chicken enchiladas...i didn't get to eat because the meeting today was during lunch time and they don't usually have gluten free options. But i'm happy to say because of that food i found an AMAZING sandwich shop that does do gluten free, and i foresee myself ordering from them A LOT in the next weeks...but in lieu of the edible amazingness... I ate a bag of salt and vinegar, potato chips was all. it's not even my favorite flavor.

yet again, I'm here, alone, except for two sleeping cats, a sleeping tortoise, and a wafting stench of something very decomposing i cant identify nor do i want to...drinking more Port. But I have to do homework, all due tomorrow with no extension allowed, and then eat and then sleep early. I need to be at school by 8 am tomorrow. which is going to suck the life out of me as it always does.

I've drank an entire bottle of port, actually identified as being from my ancestral country of Portugal (town of Gaia), since yesterday...holy pickling-liver level of ridiculousness Batman...this how brutalized i feel and how in need i am of supportive ESCAPE from this brutality. Grad school isnt for sissies...or people who cant drive, or people who cant afford to eat out every day...though i'm trying my best. Only spiked agua fresca could make it better...

omg...The clouds this evening at sunset were lilac...LILAC....pure, incredible, soft amazing shade of lilac, with hints of pink...which is so so fitting because the lilacs bloomed today. omfg they smell amazing...I'm here holding a sprig of them to my nostrils...typing with the other hand. I'm in absolute heaven even with an amazing unfinished amount of homework...

mmm...more later. Delicious rich people food and boyfriend has arrived...in that order of utmost need at the moment.

There was more, but it will have to wait till i can think critically again...

My entire life i was deprived of genuine enchiladas...and my foot randomly went numb while typing this and now really, really hurts. :-

~e