I've listened to Broadway and arias and theatre music all day for the past two days, and I don't feel as depressed. I thrive with any version of human expression...and in social work the point is reiterated to suppress emotion and repress feelings to not counter-transfer to clients...
I"m not designed for s0cial w0rk, and i see its unfortunate flaws and lies...it is no where near being able to claim social justice status, yet it claims it. yet it excludes non-white people, disabled people, it says once a client always a client, completely countering the very idea a clients self-determination to become an equal or even being further than a social w0rker....none of those are inclusive of claiming social justice.
I'm not quite designed for the Arts either, being so nervous and uncoordinated, but more so than s0cial w0rk. I have re-read my old writings and they are incredible.
I have 3 to 5 semesters left, roughly, after this.
And then I can do what I want and hopefully, maybe find a creative job, or teach creative writing on the side, and try to afford what i need and have ability to do what i want.
without this sense of hope I just want to die...
I'm trying to find a quote to put on my grad cap, to focus on that...so far i like this one:
Alan Turing:
"...it is the people no one can imagine anything of who do the things no one can imagine."
or
Emily Dickinson
"...dwell in possibility..."
or from one of my favorite books:
"When people say you can't do it ― that it's impossible ― never lose hope. Just because they couldn't doesn't mean you can't." — DAVID COPPERFIELD
I REALLY miss creativity.
~e