lillian m. blakey moon_window




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Sunlight on Earth

� Copyright 2006-2012
Saturday, Sept. 14, 2019 - 11:24 pm

=*=


Today I ordered a cake for my mom's b day next week, knowing I won't have
Time to make one. $45 for an 8" cake seems a little ridiculous, but that's what it costs.

Instead if homework I organized things to start getting rid of stuff.

I have no motivation to do my school work. I'm exhausted from fighting my benefit agencies and workers to do their jobs. My entire break went to that without doing that I wouldn't have had funding at all. I'm sorry I fought so hard now...

My bf still acts like he's not attracted to me sexually....still talks in a weird baby voice. Still gets mad at me when I tell him I don't like it. With my classes being online, I feel really completely alone. And I don't have anyone to go to. It's affecting my entire sense of self, being so socially isolated yet again. I don't really want to live like this anymore, but I can't make any one care either.

This town has become really horrific now too. There are documented 300 homeless people...it's closer to 1000. In addition to the multiple houses with 5+ cars parked out front. There's people sleeping in ditches, on sidewalk's. Behind buildings, beside buildings, on vacant lots, pitched tents randomly in hidden areas of parks. None of them look very well.

Without my bf it's inevitable that i would end up being one of them. I have nowhere to go, and no one is accepting section eight anymore here. We are sincerely planning for what happens when my mom loses her voucher due to losing where we live now. My landlady isnt young. It's terrifying.

And it's all disrupting my ability to focus or fight for school on top of it. I really hate my degree and the people running my school.

And nothing is going well...I should probably just stop posting altogether. I'm probably just bumming out whoever is left paying any attention.

~e

=*= one day i'll fly away =*=

most recent entries:

nothing more exciting than depressing midterms - Tuesday, Oct. 08, 2019

transitions - Saturday, Oct. 05, 2019

feeling done - Thursday, Oct. 03, 2019

Pantsless - Saturday, Sept. 21, 2019

Shitty day - Friday, Sept. 20, 2019