lillian m. blakey moon_window




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Sunlight on Earth

� Copyright 2006-2012
Saturday, Oct. 05, 2019 - 3:33 am

=*=


I'm up, unable to sleep.

My almost 15 year old cat hasn't thrown up in 3 days...that's a record for like YEARS. Poor cat. He is super super skinny. We are having to smash up dry kibble because he cant chew...he never could, it was something we always laughed at because he is so...not normal, but he would at least try. He stopped trying. So he just swallowed everything whole. I found some senior food that is itty bits, so hopefully even if he doesn't chew it, it wont give him the regurgitation reflex. He is very much interested in food and is perking up. He is eating a spoonful of wet food 3 x a day, which prior to all of this made him throw up immediately. My $2 per can so far isnt going to vomit or giving him the runs at least.

I contacted a mobile vet, but she hasn't replied yet. People here just really suck for professionalism...like most here don't seem to know how to do their jobs in a way...where they ever actually get to doing their jobs. its frustrating.

That now includes a roofer, who gave a decent guesstimate on Tuesday, but hasn't yet emailed it as a bid so my bf can get go a loan, which he was told was needed to get the work done. It rained today and his ceiling was leaking, above the fridge again this time. So the lack of a reply is really annoying AND unprofessional.

My bf came home early, at 3pm today. He said he could have come home at 2pm, but the board had a meeting about his boss retiring and transitioning out. I probably shouldn't say details, but the fact is I very openly said "good, she needs to retire already". To which he replied that the transition scares him because the next boss 'may not be as lenient'....lenient? She isn't, in fact she has often been mean to people, including him, because of expecting too much, but this is the only job he has ever had in this town. Literally. And I know the idea of working somewhere else is scaring him. He told me he has no idea what he wants to do for another job...and he said he doesn't care about this work anymore (because she ran him into the ground too). But really, I'm thrilled anyway. More that after 6+ years of claiming she would retire that she maybe actually really is this time.

We talked about hos much harder this year was, and how they have been forced to do so much they never had to do before.

My bf said this year has really changed him, especially with his grandmother dying and his family not being family at all on top of the work issue...I've noticed, and not in a good way. He doesn't cut his hair for months at a time, he isn't affectionate, he is jumpy, and pissy, and short...and he says things and doesn't follow through. He makes plans that fall through. It's been really hard to handle, he was never like this for so long before. So I'm not sure what that means for our relationship, either. But I really do feel in the way.

I think my bf's tortoise is also transitioning to hibernating for the winter, which is a relief too. One less creature to manage. Dude eats more than i do.

And I calculated my semesters out, and if I can do a summer internship where I get an incomplete and finish my hours over the Fall semester, I will graduate next December...like...in a year...omfg that would be great. This is killing me, all of it. If not, if they don't allow it, I will graduate in 1.5 years...which feels that much more miserable, because it is. But still, 3 years in...the end is visible, sort of...I need to work on my midterms this weekend. Luckily it's getting cold and sort of crappy out, so I no longer wish i was out doing something else, i'm good in my PJs, inside, even though I wish I wasn't going this life and degree all alone. I still prefer forced social interaction of a real classroom, if nothing else.

This year has been too much.

~e

=*= one day i'll fly away =*=

most recent entries:

Emptiness - Thursday, Oct. 17, 2019

shits and giggles - Wednesday, Oct. 16, 2019

midterm misery - Sunday, Oct. 13, 2019

cookies - Wednesday, Oct. 09, 2019

nothing more exciting than depressing midterms - Tuesday, Oct. 08, 2019