My bf woke up at 8:30 am and started pestering me by 9 am about needing to get ready and go to get a grocery order set for 10 to 11. I tried to have a normal morning but he kept criticizing me about it being time to go, and I stupidly tried to make toast but burnt it from being distracted by him and the fact that I couldn't find what I wanted on my toast. So I got ready and we left early and fucked over the entire day. And I just didn't eat. I do t feel like eating now.

Then I come home, and have 5 small items of my order that need to be refrigerated and mom, who is obviously food phobic, and only eats once a day yet complains she is tired all the time, has a fit that there's no room in the fridge for my things.

I don't want to be around either if them.

I wish I had someone to go to.

Between the two of them I'm sorry I didn't die when I was 11.

My whole life nothing I do is right and I'm left rejected for not being whatever it is that I'm supposed to be. Or do. Or say. Or feel. Or think.

I don't want to wake up anymore. I'm losing everything, and I'm tired, and no one can help anyway.

So I have no idea what to do. But I'm obviously not wanted by either of the remaining two people who speak to me.

~e