lillian m. blakey moon_window




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Sunlight on Earth

� Copyright 2006-2012
Saturday, Aug. 15, 2020 - 7:21 pm

=*=


This morning I made a mistake of reinforcing to my bf that he can't do whatever he wants. And I've been paying for that mistake all day.

He was telling me about fixing his roof, and said if the roofing insulation is old he will tell the roofer to replace it. We both now know there is asbestos in this house, and potentially in the roofing. So I made a mistake of reminding him of that and saying if there is asbestos up there they'll leave it because the roofer can't touch it, and he'd have to hire a asbestos remover to remove it according to code and regs...and that when I looked that it costs around 10,000 to 20,000...so he should think about whether he should do that first.

He screamed at me all morning over that. As we went to get items from Target, only stopping when he saw the employee with a cart, screamed at me as we got my mom's groceries...and again when we got back to his house.

He said things like "if they try to charge me more I'll just have to kill them". Or of code enforcement "if they try to prevent me from doing what I want with my own house i'll track them down and kill them".

I have no place to go. I'm stuck here. I don't feel safe anymore, I made a mistake and told him that. He hasn't spoken to me since. I haven't gone near him.

When he was screaming at me in the car and hitting the steering wheel I wanted to run. I couldn't get myself to. I was looking for someone to run to...it was a mostly empty parking lot. I'm still agoraphobic I guess...

My school starts next Wednesday. I don't want to be here.

I haven't eaten or drank anything today. I don't want to go near him.

He has been ok the past two weeks and I thought maybe just the stress of moving was pushing him over...but that's done.

Now this is not okay, at all...to be screamed at for telling him the truth and that he can't do and have and get whatever he wants.

I told my mom but she can't do anything.

She just said to avoid him...and to stop trying to help him and just let him get himself fined and charged...but he's threatening to kill people if they do that as they can.

I wish I had a friend here to go to.

~e

=*= one day i'll fly away =*=

most recent entries:

Psycho - Wednesday, Sept. 30, 2020

No point. - Wednesday, Sept. 30, 2020

Stuck - Sunday, Sept. 27, 2020

Shifting - Friday, Aug. 28, 2020

sadness - Sunday, Aug. 16, 2020